This is my first try, appreciate someone can help to correct my mistake on below letter. Thanks in advance
Writing Task 1.
You ordered two items through internet and you received two different items. Write a letter to the manager:
1. Explain about what you ordered,
2. Ask why the two other items were different,
3. Ask about how would he solve this problem.
Dear Sir or Madam:
I have recently ordered a Sony digital camera (item #6542951) and a MP3 player (item #6542951) from your website on June 21. I received the order on June 26. Unfortunately, when I opened it I saw a Samsung camera and a CD player. The camera you sent me was of the wrong brand, and you send me a wrong player instead. My order number is AF26168156.
I must emphasize to you that I have been using your website service for the past two years, and I had never encounter any problem before. I am sure this is a rare problem and I am not blaming anyone. However, I am not happy about the mistake and worry that the similar may happen in future. I would be grateful if you could study into this incident and provide me an explanation.
To resolve this problem, I would like you to resend me the correct items that I have ordered. Upon receive them, I will immediately send back the two wrong items that you had sent me. Shall you have difference or even better suggestion to resolve this matter, please contact me as soon as you can at my mobile number (012222000).
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours Sincerely,
To get feedback on an essay, you need to post it in its own thread. To gain the right to start a new thread, offer constructive feedback to two other forum members.
Here, I moved the essay for you, as this seems to be your first one. Here are some grammatical fixes to get you started:
"I haverecently ordered a Sony digital camera (item #6542951) and a MP3 player (item #6542951) from your website on June 21. I received the order on June 26. Unfortunately, when I opened the package I saw a Samsung camera and a CD player. The camera you sent me was of the wrong brand, and you sentme the wrong type of player entirely.instead. My order number is AF26168156."
Thanks you so much,EF_Sean. You really improve my essay, why i can't find out those mistake by myself? I rad few round, but didn't realised those problem you had point out. Thank again.
Keep practicing. There weren't that many errors, and you will get better the more you write.
why i can't find out those mistake by myself?
It's always hard to catch one's own errors. That's why professionally written pieces go through both editing and proofreading before they are published. Always have somebody other than yourself look at anything you write before you send it off or turn it in.
there was not any mistake but you can write better aiso!
good job
you have done a great job for your first letter. It contain mistakes but thats usual at first step, which people above has already mentioned. I need you towards your letter format.
You have writen
Dear Sir or madam:
instead of it you should write
Dear Sir/Madam
no semicolon or anything should be there according to new modern format.
and in the end you have written
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
instead of it you could write this
I'll be looking forward to hear from you.
Thanking You
