Topic: Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Essay
Better parenthood for improving children development
It is true that childcare plays a vital role in any country. Therefore, many couples are suggested to take a training course, which aims to provide them with good parenting skills, before having a child. In my opinion, I totally agree with this idea because of the several benefits it can bring to parents and their offsprings.
Firstly, a training course acts as a relief for parenting stress. The transition to parenthood is usually frustrating due to unexpected problems in nursing and educating a newborn. As the child grows up, parents will face a lot of changes in the kid's behaviours, caused by both physical changes, like puberty, and social influence, such as friendship. A well-prepared parent will foresee the challenges, which leads to a less stressful parenthood. They can also be given instructions to figure out a solution whenever a problem appears.
Secondly, children are greatly benefited from their parents' training result. With the good understanding of childcare and children development, parents are able to sympathise with kids' emotions and feelings. This perception helps enrich the family relationships and build a close-knit family, which is the perfect environment to bring up a human being. For instance, adolescents tend to use destructive behaviours, such as smoking and drinking, as a way to prove their maturity and boost their confidence. Without preparation and skills, shocked and angry parents can easily come up with bad solutions, like threatening or beating these teenagers to make them obedient, which only result in a severe damage of their self-esteem, as well as ruin the parents-children relationship.
In conclusion, I strongly support the idea of providing a mandatory course for every soon-to-be parents due to its potential for making parenthood stress-free and improving children development.
(289 words)I'm not a native speaker, but in my opinion, your essay has good structure and is easy to understand.
However, I see some small mistakes in your essay:
offsprings
Nowadays, people usually don't use "offsprings" as a plural form of "offspring". Just write "offspring".
the training course
You mention "a training course" earlier so you should add the article "the" here.
a problem arises
"appear" is fine but "arise/occur" is much more popular.]
child development
I would use "child development" or "children's development".
show/display destructive behaviours
beating these teenagers
It's fine, but "beating" sounds informal. I would recommend " use corporal punishment".
which only results in a severe damage to... , as well as ruins the parent-child relationship.
You should look up " subject-verb agreement" on the Internet.
"parent-child relationship" is more correct.
every soon-to-be parent
You need "parent" to go with "every".
@Red Moon
Hi, thank you for your feedback. However, could you explain to me about "subject-verb agreement" in my sentence that you corrected? I still don't understand :((
"Without preparation and skills, shocked and angry parents can easily come up with bad solutions, like threatening or beating these teenagers to make them obedient, which only result in a severe damage of their self-esteem, as well as ruin the parents-children relationship."
The subject I thought was "bad solutions", so the verbs "to result" and "to ruin" don't have to be changed. Could you please explain where I was wrong? Thank you!
Wow I've done some research online, turned out I was wrong while using "as well as" as a substitution for "and", and verbs after "as well as" always come in -ing form
Source: site.uit.no/english/grammar/aswellas/
However, I still don't change my opinion about the verb "result". I still think that the subject is "bad solutions", not the whole clause "shocked and angry parents ...".
@Tran Minh Hien
Sorry, look like I made a mistake. If your subject is "bad solutions" then it is right.
