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Mankind nowadays face their natural enemy, nature. IELTS Writing Task 2


Wiratmaja_Dicky 2 / 3 1  
Oct 22, 2014   #1
Developed countries have created many environmental problems in the world, particularly in their contribution to global warming.
What can be done to reduce the dangers of global warming ?


Mankind nowadays face their natural enemy, nature. Damaged nature due to human activities rise the global warming and resulting climate changes and raising in sea level. The executive of countries among the world unite to declaration fight again global warming and decrease the effect. Advanced countries move along develop countries are race to improve green technology to reduce the improving risk of global warming.

Due the fact, the most responsible to effected global warming is industrial activities based on economic activities in developed countries. Walhi, organize who concern in environmental released data in 2007 according to damaged environment due to industrial activities in Indonesia is 2,7 hectares each years and increase sea level 7 cm every years causing flood and abrasion. Industrial activities in develop countries not only stop in damaged nature but also exploit natural resource, commonly develop countries depend their economic in export of natural resources. This economics activities also worse situations.

Contribute of advanced countries to reveal the situations in develop countries to reduce the economic activities, which damaged nature must be stopped. Moving together between countries affiliation in United Nation to protect nature and decrease the risk of global warming was held in Indonesia in Nusa Dua Bali, 2007. The concern of forum was to preparation countries among the world to reduce global warming and gas carbon after Kyoto Protocol. Not only global participation the executive from develop countries must produce policy to adopt green program along industrial activities even green technology and the company must responsible to reduce natural damaged by spend their income on Company Social Responsibility (CSR) who can be use for reforestation and other natural activities.

To conclude, protect our nature from high-risk activities who can damage environment must be done together among countries despite advance or develop. The executive and society must synchronize green-program to synergy the action.
Anfalia 40 / 56 23  
Oct 22, 2014   #2
hello dicky.. :)

The executive of countries among the world unite to declaration fight again global warming and decrease the effect.

Due the fact, the most responsible to effected global warming is industrial activities based on economic activities in developed countries.

i think "to" should be followed by verb bare infinitive

Walhi, organize

organizes/organized

commonly develop countries depend

depend on

overall, your writing is good based on some facts. but you should separate the form of second paragraph because it seems bulky.
Good Luck boy.. :)
OP Wiratmaja_Dicky 2 / 3 1  
Oct 22, 2014   #3
many thanks to for you advice :)
i can improve my writing skills..


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