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[task 1] map writing: arrangements in an American town between 1948 and the present year


LadyOfClockwork 25 / 78 20  
Oct 25, 2017   #1
The map below shows the changes in an American town between 1948 and the present.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.


transformation of an American town



The map illustrates different arrangements of an American town between 1948 and the present year. Here can be found diverse changes. They will be summarized in this essay by making appropriate comparisons.

Overall, the transport system goes unchanged whereas the buildings beside have largely been transformed. Almost all of the redevelopments occur north of the canal. The sole exception is in the southwestern corner, where a church has been repurposed.

In 1948, there was a petrol station in the north of the town, across from a park. Along the road to the southwest, there were a residential area and a local supermarket beyond; to the northeast lies an industrial zone. On the other side of the canal was situated a larger housing estate, away from a church in the southwest.

Currently, while the petrol station still stands, the park has been replaced with a supermarket and other commercial buildings. Furthermore, the factories have been converted to an airport, and both the smaller residential section and the local supermarket has given way to commercial structures. The church has vanished, with a sport stadium constructed instead. For all these transformations, the housing complex in the southeast of the town remains intact. It is also notable to mention that the grid of roads and the canal are untouched.

215 words
I am trying to improve my English proficiency by keeping writing. My current focus is on map analysis. I would more appreciate it if you score my essay.


I have a question: if the prompt goes that "The map below shows the changes in an American town between 1948 and2010", is it appropriate to assume 2010 is the present year? Or should I use the simple past tense to describe 2010? (such as ...the housing complex... remained intact)






Holt - / 7,528 2001  
Oct 25, 2017   #2
Hi Gang, I would like to respond to your question before I continue with further assessments of your essay. Since the year 2010 is in the past, you must use simple past tense to describe the elements from that part of the map. It is not considered the present year. If a discussion is to take place in the present year, the prompt will indicate that as "present, current, or ongoing" or some other word variation within the presentation. In this particular instance, you can assume that these changes have taken place in 2017 , as the prompt indicates and the present, so you must use present tense to describe the changes indicated. However, you must not make the mistake of using or mentioning the current year in the essay because there is no such assumption or presentation being made in the original prompt. The present is simply, the present, sans any actual reference to a time frame. These prompts are always recycled for use in review every year. The practice prompts do not change. These are only added to when some question is retired from the test pool. It is added to the practice pile. So there is a tendency for generic references to years in the essay prompts.

Let's work on improving your sentence presentations. Shall we?

Here can be found diverse changes.
- Diverse changes can be found in the second map.

They will be summarized
- These will be...

transport system goes unchanged whereas
-...system remains unchanged while...

...building beside IT have...

the northeast lies an industrial zone.
-... lay an industrial...

On the other side of the canal was ...
- The other side of the canal housed a large community housing estate

and the local supermarket has given way ...
- ... supermarket HAVE given...

church has vanished, with a sport ...
-The sports stadium has replaced the church.

The sentences that I corrected were only done in an effort to show you how you can create more impressive complex sentences using lesser words. You don't need to be extremely wordy in these essays provided you have the vocabulary and sentence development know how to create "native" sounding sentences that the native English speaker can easily understand. Even with these slight sentence issues, you still have the potential to deliver a level 9 essay here. Your work falls under the required criteria.
OP LadyOfClockwork 25 / 78 20  
Oct 25, 2017   #3
@Holt
Glad to hear your advice. I appreciate your corrections, especially

The other side of the canal housed a large community housing estate

I know the usage of "to house", but perhaps I would never use it in my map writing without your reminder. Thanks. My horizons has been broadened.

I'll keep practice accordingly to make my essays sound perfectly idiomatic and concise.


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