IELTS TASK 1 - MAP (comparison the development of some tourist facilities)

The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

noticeable changes in visitor facilities

Given are maps comparing the development of tourist amnesties which have not yet occupied. It is noticeable that in around 200 metres, numerous recreational areas, transportation access and accommodation facilities have been built.

Generally, the construction has been done in vacant area with some palms standing in the same place. A swimming facility has been constructed near the beach on the outskirt of the island. Alongside the sea, a pier has been added, providing ship to connect this island with others. However vehicle track has been renovate to ease visitor to go to reception and restaurant

On the other hand, some hotels have been built in the left side of receptionist and right side as well. Having footpath, pedestrians can walk from one room to the other rooms alongside that area. While six of the accommodations in the right side have been connected with beach, the remainings just have been located in the right side with inhabited area having enormous green trees.

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... been done in vacant areaareas with some palms ...

... providing shiptransportation to connect this island with others

*However vehicle track has been renovate to ease ...* This sentence needs to be revised

Ayu, the information that you provide in your essay is lacking. There are two maps indicated in the report given to you. Therefore, the introduction should have acknowledge the existence of an original map and a revised map based upon changes made to the island. Prior to the lengthy discussion of the changes made, there should have also been a paragraph that indicated the original status of the island, that means prior to the development of the resort. That way, the reason for the existence of the two maps for your summary report consideration becomes evident. Right now. Your focus on the new map is all that is seen in the essay, which means that no consideration to the first map was given and therefore, the changes indicated do not have any importance to the reader. Due to the missing information and comparison, your will not score highly in a similar test in an actual setting. Always remember that the comparison is always necessary in these types of essays, regardless of the type of information presented to you for summarizing. Without the comparison, the essay is not informative at all.

@ayuriska
Vocabulary was good but I believe u have should have mentioned about 1st map as it is the most important part to be included.

hi @Holt thanks for your advice,I will try to fix it. Actually Im confused how to explain the first map because it just vacant area, so that I explain the changes. What kind of tenses that should I use in this writting? could you give score to this writting?

thanks

Ayu, the tense to use in all of these report essays will be the past tense because the information has already been provided to you and all you have left to do is summarize the report in written form. In this case, the vacant island should have been a part of the introduction or summary statement. You should have referenced it as being the basis for the improvement in the island. For example "The illustrations provide 2 images. One for the undeveloped island composed mainly of tress, and the other, is the developed island composed of various facilities and land masses."

I would give your task accuracy a score of 4 because of the missing element that describes the first image in comparison to the second. As for the coherence and cohesiveness, lexical resource, and grammar range / accuracy, I think you could score no higher than a 5 in most instances. The presentation is mechanical in nature because you only presented the facts as you read it in the essay. There is no sense of you trying to present the information in a more advanced manner either through sentence construction or use of advanced English vocabulary.

I would not say that this is a bad essay. I believe that the essay shows your potential to actually do a good job on the next practice test. Provided you have ample guidance and instructions regarding how to better develop your skills. I hope my advice helps you in that regard.