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The map describe the change of the urban area in San Jose from 1995 to present.


bichphuong710 1 / -  
May 3, 2020   #1

development of the San Jose city



The given diagrams illustrates how the city in San Jose developed between 1995 and present.
Overall, the most noticeable change is the increase of accommodation and expanding the road in the middle of housing area.
Additionally, some facilities were disappeared and replaced by new features.
In 1995, to the south of the area, there was a fishing industry, with a fishing port and a quite large fish market. Nearby this was a small coffee, which had the hotel in the opposite. Along with the road by the sea, a line of five shop stood in there. The housing area of the city was located in the north west around a main road with twelve houses, four of which were inside a smaller side-street. Situated in the north-eastern was a farmland and a forest park.

Regarding to now, the fishing areas have disappeared and being replaced by four apartments and the shops have become restaurants. The cafe remained unchanged, while a new car park was constructed next to the hotel. Specifically, the two separated areas of farmland and forest park is unified and converted into golf and tennis area. Finally, the number of housings have been increased slightly, tracking for three houses more than before.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4772  
May 3, 2020   #2
We need the diagram uploaded to the server so that a comprehensive review of your essay can be completed. I do not have a comparison point for your presentation so I cannot review your work for content and prompt responsiveness. I will just do a general review for now. Remember to upload the image next time so you can get a complete review for your work.

There is a clear subject-verb problem in the essay. Yo were supposed to say "... has been increased slightly..." not, " ... have been increased..." The summary overview is incomplete. It does not give me a run-down of the image provided information. So , as the examiner, I am left confused by the discussion presentation. You have to make sure to enumerate all of the important discussion points, include the keywords, and consider how those all play into the final presentation of the trending statement.

Your illustration description does not sound like you are restating it in your own manner. It sounds more like a cut and paste of the original presentation. Then again, I cannot be sure since you neglected to give us a copy of the drawing you based your report on. The essay should be presented in a 3-4 paragraph format. You only presented several hanging sentences, which should have been formatted into a paragraph form, and 2 separate paragraphs. The summary overview is the first paragraph and that requires the 3-5 sentence presentation. Do not separate the sentences, those create hanging sentence presentations and do not help increase your GRA score since you are not presenting those in a proper paragraph format.


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