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The map shows the proposed reconstruction of a college in 2020.


nabila05 8 / 12  
Apr 17, 2016   #1
The picture has illustrated the comparison of a college before and after some constructions. According to the map before construction, it can be clearly seen that there were only a few facilities on this college. Later on, there are significant changes that have been done in 2020.

Before some new facilities are constructed, there were the only car park, main college building, and small sports complex and most of the places were empty. In this college, there are new constructions have been built including the residential accommodation facility, student union, and faculty offices beside the River Thames. Furthermore, there is resources centre built next to car park. Interestingly, there are two facilities that rebuilt and widened which are main college building and sports complex.

Besides, the new footbridge has been reconstructed to facilitate the civitas academics. The new footbridge was made to walk across the River Thames. Overall, after the addition of some new facilitates, it can be seen a several development of this college without removing anything.




Mimi07 9 / 15 2  
Apr 17, 2016   #2
Hi Nabila, your writing is good bu it will be perfect if you correct some information in your writing. I try to give you some suggestion.

Later on, there are significant changes that have been done in 2020. i think in the map there is no information about this, so it will be good if you reduce this information.

In the second and third paragraph, I found a missing information, such as:
- this college behind the motorway
- a sport complex with rectanguler design would develop in car park area, this building will be seen in the right when enter to the college.
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Apr 20, 2016   #3
Hi Nabila, here's some additional insights to your analysis.

- The picturemap has illustrated
- map, before construction,
- facilities onin this college.
- that havehas been done in 2020.

- there were the only car parks ,
- and a small sports
- constructions havethat has been
- there is a resources centre
- built next to the car park.
- that were rebuilt and
- widened which are the main
- college building and the sports complex.

- facilitate the civitascivic academics.
- of somethe new facilitates,
- it can be seen athat there are several
- development ofin this college without

There you have it Nabila, I hope this corrections are useful and helpful in your revision and for future writing reference, mind the construction of your sentences, most of them lack minor details and this can affect the entire essay.


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