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The map shows the village of Stokeford in 1930 and in 2010-IELTS TASK1 (Academic) Map

Elise990119 2 / 7  
Aug 1, 2020   #1
The following is my report, please give me some feedback, thank you very much!!!

These two maps illustrate some changes in the Stokeford village which took placed in 1930 and 2010.

It is clear that compare with the map in 1930, the village Stokeford village in 2010 had more houses. In addition, the layout of the road became more complex. The utilize of the land also had been modified. Also, there were some different on the size of primary school.

In 2010, the shops were located in the north of the village were replaced by the fork road, and the other fork road was diagonally across from it. Both of them were surrounded by the houses. For the gardens and large house in the east of the village, the garden disappeared and the large house expanded to a retirement home. A new road linked the retirement home and new houses area to the main road.

The farmland disappeared in 2010. The primary school only had one building initially, but it had three buildings in total when time went on 2010. Besides these changes, the post office in the centre and the bridge in the north were still remained.

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Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,647 3480  
Aug 2, 2020   #2
You launched into an immediate discussion of the comparison points of the image. You totally failed to comply with the summary overview and trending statement requirement of this essay. Your report is going to be considered incomplete in terms of information presentation as the run-down of important information in relation to the trend of the development is missing. That is the 1st paragraph of the Task 1 essay and, that paragraph also carries a very high scoring consideration, so you should not miss out on presenting that information for any reason. So your essay, though complete in information presentation, is lacking an all too important paragraph. You could have completed this essay in 3 paragraphs just the same, if you had only delivered the summary overview first and then combined the remainder of the information within 2 comparison paragraphs. I am not saying your presentation is wrong, what I am saying, is that there would have been a better way to deliver the information. A delivery that would have allowed you to get a better overall score for this presentation.
OP Elise990119 2 / 7  
Aug 2, 2020   #3
Well, I will take your suggestions, those are really reasonable
Thank you so much~
shureoni 1 / 2  
Aug 2, 2020   #4
some changes --> the changing patterns
OP Elise990119 2 / 7  
Aug 2, 2020   #5
That sounds better! Thank you very much~

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