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Maps indicate the modifications Queen Mary Hospital has undergone since its establishment in 1960


ducanhdo22 2 / 1  
Aug 4, 2018   #1

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construct



The provided maps indicate the modifications Queen Mary Hospital has undergone since its establishment in 1960. Generally speaking, as can be observed, Queen Mary Hospital was becoming much more functional over the period of four decades.

To specify, in 1960, the area was surrounded by a myriad of the shopping centre, hospital, farmland, and car park. After 20 years, in 1980, the shopping area was demolished to pave way for the cancer centre and pharmacy. Simultaneously, farmland was replaced by nursing school, whereas next to it, the car park remained unchanged.

It is interesting to note that the year of 2000 witnessed numerous significant changes. The cancer centre was expanded considerably from the northwest along to the south of Queen Mary Hospital. In contrast, the nursing school shrank and the same situation was noticed in the car park behind the hospital. Finally, the hospital was staying put from 1960 to 2000.


  • The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construct

TungfromVN 1 / 3  
Aug 5, 2018   #2
Wow, impressive bro :), but i think u should not use " it is interesting to note that " because i have heard my teacher said that it like personal feeling, u know ( task 1 can not give personal feelings :) ). However, still great tho :D !
Holt - / 7,528 2001  
Aug 5, 2018   #3
Duc, you have not written enough words to get a higher scoring consideration. You wrote only 1 word over the minimum requirement which is good, but limits your ability to portray a clear analysis of the image you were provided. You need to write at the most, 175 words in order to better your scoring considerations using the 4 scoring considerations. It would be best if you aim to write the standard 4 paragraph Task 1 essay in order to achieve the best scoring probability with your task 1 essays.

By the way, this is not a map, it is listed as a diagram in the original prompt so you should have described it as such. This is a keyword that you cannot change from the original prompt because this is an analysis essay. When it comes to the summary overview, stick to the keywords from the original and then change up the words using synonyms in the body of paragraphs instead.

The summary overview is incomplete and does not have the minimum requirement of 3 sentences. It only has the topic sentence and a trending statement. It is missing the mention of the years given for comparison, which would have given the reader a clue as to how the discussion will be outlined and presented in the 3 body paragraphs.

Now, as far as your trending statement is concerned, there are two things of note that you could have mentioned, the first, as you mentioned is the functional development of the area. The other, is that the main road remained unchanged and a consistent part of the developments over the specified years.
OP ducanhdo22 2 / 1  
Aug 6, 2018   #4
@TungfromVN
my teacher said that was the academic structure, aim to lengthen your essay =)))) you shouldn't understand the meaning translated into Vietnamese


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