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IELTS Task 1: The maps show the changes of a small theater in 2010 and 2012

HelenN 5 / 10 3  
Jun 22, 2021   #1

The maps illustrate how the layout of small-scaled theatre has transformed throughout the years 2010 and 2012.

Overall, it is clearly seen that the floor footage of the theatre had increased in 2012. Specifically, some facilities were either relocated or resized as well as the addition of some new amenities during the given period.

Walking by the main entrance, the former coffee shop on the right was taken by the ticket office. Although remaining on the left, the administration office was demolished and reconstructed at the top corner; the western space was expanded in size to make space for the new restaurant. Meanwhile, the auditorium also met some significant changes. While the audience area kept unchanged with the same seating capacity, the stage was conspicuously enlarged to the back. As a result, the backstage became a narrow hallway, connecting the relocated storage on the right and the new-built media room with a shower situated on the left.

  • The maps show the changes of a small theater in 2010 and 2012
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,978 3867  
Jun 26, 2021   #2
The essay only covers 140 / 150 words. There is no reference to a summary overview. The writing starts off at the trending statement instead. So the lack of a proper summary overview will affect the overall comparison report. This should be represented in a comparison of 3-4 paragraphs. The accidental mrging of the third paragraph into the second is what caused this error.The third paragraph should have started at "meanwhile". The paragraph presentations need more descriptive content. Each paragraph should have 3-5 sentences for better scoring considerations. The current paragraph presentations are too brief and could use more content. The most worrisome part of this presentation though is the lack of a summary overview.

Further review of this presentation shows that the summary overview may have been incorrectly formatted. The student, for some reason, presented it in instruction rather than discussion format. The latter being the more appropriate structure for the presentation. A summary overview uses normal upper and lowercase letters, is not highlighted, and presented as a merged part of the trending statement. Additionally, the comparisons cover 2010 and 2012. It is not a series of continuing changes since there are 2 images covering specific years provided.
adelaide1119 1 / 2  
Jun 28, 2021   #3
Firstly, i think the body of your essay is not enough and you should devide into at least 3 main passage : introduction,overall, review

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