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US marriage and divorce in 1970 and 2000. IELTS Task


ARIA 16 / 43 1  
Apr 16, 2011   #1
Hi Guys
I cannot find the electronic version for this essay's bar charts. is there anybody who can help me?

The two bar charts show the numbers of marriage and divorces in USA in 4 different years of 1970, 80, 90 and respectively 2000, and comparison of the marital statue of Americans in 1970 and 2000. As a holistic trend it can be seen that he the numbers of marriages in America slightly dropped during these years and a comparison between 1970 and 2000 shows that percentage of the bachelors and divorced persons has rose up.

According to the first bar chart, on one hand, the number of marriages ceremony during first period remains constant on 205 million marriages at year, then this number start to decline on the next two-time period from approximately 2.25 millions from 1990 to 2 millions in 2000. On the other hand, the numbers of divorces start to rise from 1 million in 1970 to 1.4 millions in 1980, then started to drop in 1.1 and later 1 million in 1990 and 2000, respectively.

As far as the comparison of the marital status of the American years 1997 and 2000 is concerned, the second bar chart shows that the majority of the American in both years were married and less remained bachelor. Although, in 1970 there were more married and widowed rather than 2000, the numbers of those did not try to marry or failed their marriage in 2000 have risen.

In conclusion, the bar charts show that that there is a slight decline in marriages and a modest up and down trend in number of divorces during this for time period, and in comparison with year 2000, in 1970 there were less married and widowed along with more bachelors and divorced people.

Neeta 5 / 38  
Apr 17, 2011   #2
A very warm greetings!

I hold a hard copy, but right now, I'm not in a situation to provide feed back. Please wait, I'll sure get back to you in few hours. Oh! about the hierarchy layout I mentioned earlier- I'll try to upload :D

Ciao!

Neeta
:D
OP ARIA 16 / 43 1  
Apr 17, 2011   #3
Thanks a lot Neeta
Don't rush. I am looking forward at your earliest inconvenience.
Aria
Neeta 5 / 38  
Apr 18, 2011   #4
The two bar charts show the numbers of marriage and divorces in USA in 4 different years of 1970, 80, 90 and respectively 2000, and comparison of the marital statue of Americans in 1970 and 2000. As a holistic trend it can be seen that he[/i] the numbers of marriages in America slightly dropped during these years and a comparison between 1970 and 2000 shows that percentage of the [i]never married and divorce ]rate rose[/i]

I think rose means increase. Rise- rose-risen.

Other words for first and second- "above and below" or "former and latter"

According to the first bar chart, on one hand, the number of marriages ceremony during first period[i] remained
[/b] constant on 205 million marriages at year, then this number declined[/i] on the next two-time period from approximately 2.25 millions from 1990 to 2 millions in 2000. On the other hand, the numbers of divorces rose from 1 million in 1970 to 1.4 millions in 1980, then [i]decreasedto 1.1 in 1990, before[b] it settled at 1 million in 1990 and 2000.

P.S- I'm advise to write introduction in present tense and body in past. Please check with a teacher or somebody who is writing IELTS as I'm not very sure.

Regards,
Neeta
Neeta 5 / 38  
Apr 18, 2011   #5
A very warm greetings Vasiliy,

"2000 respectively , and comparison of the marital statue of Americans in 1970 to 2000"

In the second bar comparison is between 1970 and 2000 and not from 1970 to 2000. I personally feel, it should be"and comparison of the martial statues of Americans between the years 1970 and 2000".

Let me know your opinion.

Regards

Neeta
prostyle 1 / 1  
Apr 18, 2011   #6
Yes I've noticed that the second bar chart compares two years.If I'm not mistaken "Compare" comes with "To" that's why i've changed "And" to "To"
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Apr 19, 2011   #7
I think it always looks most impressive when you write United States instead of USA... but that may be just my opinion! :-)

Here is a little error:

There is was a slight decline in marriages and a modest up and down trend in number of divorces during this for time period, and in comparison with year 2000, in 1970 there were less married and widowed along with more bachelors and divorced people.

:-)
Neeta 5 / 38  
Apr 19, 2011   #8
@EF_Kevin and Vasiliy-I'm advised to write main body in past. Is that a right approach?

Regards

Neeta
OP ARIA 16 / 43 1  
Apr 20, 2011   #9
Thank you very much guys.
Your advices especially about the "introduction present tense, main body past tens" from neeta was extraordinary. I have checked some research paper and I found the same pattern.

with your permission I am going to close this posting till be able to submitt a new one.
Aria
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Apr 20, 2011   #10
_Kevin and Vasiliy-I'm advised to write main body in past. Is that a right approach?

In this essay, it has to be in the past tense because you are talking about what happened in various decades. Is that what you meant?

:-)


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