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marriages should be arranged by the parents or not?


thinhtvdhtm 41 / 97  
Nov 21, 2009   #1
hello, i am preparing for ielts test, and i am really worried about my writing. could u help me to point out my mistakes as detail as possible,

thanks so much

In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents. But, in other cases, people choose their own partners. Discuss and give your own opinions.

The idea that marriages should be arranged by the parents or other members in the family is acceptable in some parts of the world; however, it is completely out of the question for others. It is totally depends on the cultural expectation of the places where people live.

In so-called western countries, it is really unusual for marriages to be arranged by the parents. Most young people will not welcome the idea that their partners should be chose by their parents or by any one else, and they think that the right to choose their partners in the future is one of the most fundamental rights they should have. Even though sometimes they acknowledge that they make bad decisions.

However, in some other cases, it is quite common when marriages are arranged by the parents regardless whether or their children love the person they choose for them. In their eyes, their children are always immature even though they are ready adults. They think that making decision about marriage is the most important one in the life; therefore, they should help their offspring to make a conscious one to gain a happy family in the future. Take my country for an example; some parents arrange their children' lives in the way they like. Because, their own marriages were also arranged their parents, and they have a happy family; consequently, they believe that their offspring will have a happy family when they arrange marriage.

Personally, I strongly believe that marriages will be more likely to be happy if there are both the love between young people and the agreement of the parents for it. We cannot deny that parents who have a plenty of live experience and they can appreciate someone about the characteristics is better than the young can. Nevertheless, it is really hard to achieve a happy marriage without love; it will be better if the partners fall in love each other.

meisj0n 8 / 272 2  
Nov 21, 2009   #2
Comments: good flow of ideas; I agree with your synthesis argument. One thing however- the topic asks more about your opinions, so maybe, if you can think of another argument for why both filial and marital love are needed, add another discussion of why.

I understand that this is an opinionated essay, but maybe an intro is needed to debrief these paragraphs?
OP thinhtvdhtm 41 / 97  
Nov 21, 2009   #3
thanks so much Jonathan Hsu
i am really happy to see your useful comments for my essay. i have posted many essays. i am wondering would u mind checking them for me. if it is possible. thanks so much again
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Jan 23, 2010   #4
should be chosen

You can only start a sentence with "Even though" if you are going to have a 2 part sentence:
Even though sometimes they acknowledge that they make bad decisions, they still want their freedom to make decisions in the ways they choose.

But your way is an incomplete sentence:
Even though sometimes they acknowledge that they make bad decisions.
Fix it by doing this:
Even though This is true even though sometimes they acknowledge that they make bad decisions.

Sorry I have neglected your posts lately! It was an accident. :-)

you don't have many errors! A lot of Jon's ideas were about style and not grammar. For example, your way is okay: In their eyes, For these parents, their children are always immature even though they are already adults. ----- Jon was just making a suggestion.

The important thing for you to know i that your English is already excellent better than some people I know who grew up in Massachusetts. But like all of us, you ca find ways to make it prettier:

Personally, I strongly believe that marriages will be more likely to be happy if there are both elements: the love between the young people and the agreement of the parents. for it.
OP thinhtvdhtm 41 / 97  
Jan 24, 2010   #5
thanks for your encouragement, Kevin. i have just taken real ielts, and i got reading 7.0, listening 6.0 writing 6.0 and speaking 5.5. however, most universities in Australia ask the entry requirement for English is at least 6.5. so now i really need help from members of this forum, especially from you: a helpful and kind Moderator. hope to receive more comments from u for my essays

thanks so much again
have a nice day
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Jan 25, 2010   #6
Yes, I'm getting to them all as quickly as I can. Are there any particularly urgent ones?

Also, how does the scoring work for those tests? What would a perfect score be? Sometimes people ask me how I think they would score, and I just don't know. I do know, though, that many of you bilingual students speak better English than many native speakers.


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