Hello eveybody!!
I am new here. So glad i found this website! This is a self study exercise of IELTS. I would be appreciate you very much for helping me improve my essay. you are so kind and you surely will have a good day! Thank you!
here comes the topic:
Car ownership has increased ro rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now"one big traffic jam".
how true do you think this statement is?
what measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?
here is my essay:
With more and more people owning cars over the past three decades, statement has been made that there are more traffic jams taking place in cities. To some degree, I agree with the statement.
During rush hours, big traffic jams do happen, especially in big cities such as Taipei. Over the past thirty years, traffic congestion in Taipei is composed not simply just by cars, but also by buses and scooters. Thus, the single fact of tremendous cars cannot be viewed as a single direct cause of traffic jams. Traffic jam has become a combinative result of increasing population and multiple kinds of transportation.
As for what the government can help to reduce the frequent rate of traffic jams, is probably to take some new policies. For example, the government can replan the transportation routes, making the roads and land more useful, matching citizen's expectation such as adding new roads, taking off abandoned ones. To prevent people from owning more cars, increasing car taxes might be a good way to solve it. Also, the government can propagate the direct results of traffic congestion about how it can make influence on our daily lives such as air pollutions.
Another thing the government can do is to lower the price of housing, which might benefit lots of commuters. Thus, by cutting down the time spent on transportation, traffic jams could get eased. Besides, the government can give public transportation takers or the bus companies some extra perks to encourage the trend.
To conclude, although cars are more common than thirty years ago, traffic congestion should be able to be eased if the government takes proper policies to replan its urban outlay and other appropriate rules to attract people to use public transportation facilities instead of their own cars.
Nicely constructed essay, Well Done! Although the concluding paragraph could have been a little larger. For example, you could have restated the points you made earlier in the essay, and you could have ended on a positive note, say "if the government applies these policies, hopefully we would have free-flowing traffic and quicker transportation".
Nice work, dear friend.
the structure is wonderful, while some words need to be replaced i guess. here it is.
"big traffic jams do happen" maybe u can replace it with "terrible", the previous one is used in oral.
"As for what the government can help to reduce the frequent rate of traffic jams" →do
"For example, the government can replan the transportation routes, making the roads and land more useful, matching citizen's expectation such as adding new roads, taking off abandoned ones." →
"For example, the government can replan the transportation routes, make the roads and land more useful, satisfy citizen's expectation such as adding new roads and take off abandoned ones." the verbs have the same subject and copula.
"if the government takes proper policies to replan its urban outlay" → reallocate
after all, your passage is really good. have a good time.
