What measures could be taken in an attempt to intergrate lawbreakers back into society

Here is my topic: It's better to reform criminals instead of just punishing them. What measures could be taken to intergrate lawbreaker back into society?

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My essay

The lamentable reality that conventionally strict punishments and prison regime cannot reverse the burgeoning crime wave in modern society has fuelled public concern about the effectiveness of these punishments. Rather than being kept in captivity, wrongdoers should be re-educated and transformed into law-abiding citizens. My essay will elaborate on some strategies to help them assimilate back into their hometown.

One way to deal with this situation is to introduce moral education to prisoners. Obviously, the shortest and most straight way to transform criminals is to transform their way of thinking. The introduction of moral education will not only crystalize prisoners' mind about the callousness and brutality of their misdeeds but also reshape their behaviours to the social principles and norms. Although psychological transformation is such a life-long mission, not to mention some difficult occasions when prisoners may fail to resist the temptation of re-committing crimes, the efficacy of this measure far outweighs that of the mainstream corporal punishments.

Additionally, the same benefits can be derived from providing prisoners with more extra physical labours. Instead of being trapped in a four-wall room which leaves prisoners nothing to do but to bring back their hostile past, prisoners should be allowed to participate in such physical works as planting, building or road repairing. Apart from some benefits to prison itself, prisoners can make good use of their time as a good investment and contribution to their community. Also, the more frequent interaction among prisoners themselves can create a replica of the real community. Therefore, wrongdoers can no longer feel the sense of loneliness and isolation which the authoritarian prison regime, in contrast, often embraces.

However, the considerable dimensions of this matter manifest itself when law breakers are released and return to their hometown. Apart form feeling disorientated and receiving nothing but the isolation from others, prisoners face an uphill struggle to start afresh. On suggested measure is to provide them with job training and job opportunities. Once they have a good financial foundation, wrongdoers' concern about their later life can be vastly allayed. Furthermore, it is of great importance for the community to change their attitudes towards prisoners. Given the great endeavor to change themselves, law breakers deserve to be accepted back into the society with great sympathy rather than being rejected.

In the final analysis, it is clear that the alternative of re-educating prisoners to punishing them is critical to transform law breakers into law-abiding citizens.Also, it is suggested that the authority should take my proposals of providing prisoners with physical labours and job opportunities as well as changing the community's overall attitudes into serious consideration so that our concerted attempt to help prisoners intergrate into their society becomes successful.

Hello. I will help with parts of your essay.


It's best never to write, "My essay will..." Instead, just use words to say what you want to tell the audience. As an example, you could reword this sentence like this:

There are several strategies that can help criminals assimilate back into daily life.


"Most straight way" is cumbersome. Try not to use the same word in the same sentence twice. Try this:
Obviously, the shortest and most straight wayquickest and most effective way to transform criminals is to transformchange their way of thinking.


You've already used the phrase "introduction of moral education," so I suggest modifying that part. "Mind" should be pleural. Also, "crystallize" is not the right word here. Here's how I would write this:

The introduction of moral educationThe teaching of morals will not only crystalizeraise awareness in prisoners' mindminds about the callousness and brutality of their misdeeds, but will also reshape their behaviours to adhere tothe social principles and norms.


This sentence is too long (run-on). Let me show you how to improve its style:
Although psychological transformation is such a life-long mission, not to mention some difficult occasions when prisoners may fail to resist the temptation of re-committing crimes, the efficacy of this measure far outweighs that of the mainstream corporal punishments. Unfortunately, there are times when prisoners fail to respond to this method and require other techniques to learn how to reintegrate into society.

I hope that helps you some :)

Here are a few of my suggestions:

The lamentable reality that conventionally strict punishments and prison regime cannot reverse the burgeoning crime wave in modern society has fuelled public concern about the effectiveness of these punishments.

This sentence sounds a little awkward and wordy in the beginning, probably from the "lamentable reality that conventionally strict" portion. It also takes a while for you to reach your point, so as a first sentence it would confuse the reader a bit. I would use something like:

"The idea that conventional punishments and prison regime cannot reverse the burgeoning crime rates of modern society are truly lamentable. In fact, many public concerns over the effectiveness of these punishments have been fueled by that notion."

My essay will elaborate on some strategies to help them assimilate back into their hometown.

This could be a really good thesis, but its basically a rule to write objectively, so it would be better to say something like:
"A more effective solution to this problem would be to implement various strategies to help criminals assimilate back into their hometowns."