IELTS TASK 2 : the media empowering too much attention to the celebrities' personal life

The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are arguments about the media empowering too much attention to the celebrities' personal life and they should reduce that by increasing the news of the ordinary people. In my personal point of view, I find myself disagreeable with both above arguments due to the following examples.

On the one hand, social journalists often prioritize hot and up-to-date events in the entertaining area which include many related celebrities rather than the famous people's private life. In fact, the media seriously follow the breaking news to get attention from their readers. For example, in sport, the media often focus on reporting a big coming up championship, foreseeing the next winner of a game or how well the strategy of a team is, rather than focusing on the private life of the famous player. In addition, social journalists focus on the stories of successful people in the particular area. These topics often are about their goals and achievements, their admirable lifestyle or their working philosophies which people can learn and can be inspired by. The reporter would rarely ask about the business man's married life or children because it will go off the topic.

On the other hand, spending more time reporting on ordinary people whose lives are little known by anyone will cause a fall in reading rate of the news. Trend-setters' news will definitely be more eye-catching than some random people walking down the street. Readers who are mostly youngsters are more accessible with news about the people they have already known such as a character from a movie they like or famous artist which are so familiar on the social platform. As a result, the media take benefits from their readers and subscribers so they need to provide news that most people are interested in.

In conclusion, I think the media have a duty to report all the important news which can attract their readers the most.

The writer will not receive a passing score for this essay because he failed to meet the discussion requirements as per the provided guidelines. The essay was to respond in a manner that met the extent response in supporting either an agreement or disagreement with the topic. Instead, the writer chose to oppose both sides of the discussion. That is not a qualified response since it is not part of the provided response selections. As such, the essay will be given a failing task score due to non response format compliance. Due to this preliminary score, the succeeding scoring sections cannot help the essay achieve a passing mark since those also contain errors in presentation. Once the writer responds incorrectly to the discussion question, there is no chance that he will gain a passing score for his reasoning presentation. Next time, pick a side to support, even if these are not in accordance with the writer's actual opinion. That is what the response requires and that is what will receive scoring marks per section.

"empowering too much attention to".
"follow the breaking news"
I think these collocation does not exist. Your limited understanding of collocation makes your sentences very confusing.
"both above arguments due to the following examples" -> due to several reasons.
the first sentence of the instruction is a given background, not an argument and you should focus on the latter sentence. You seem to misunderstand the instruction.

The conclusion has no meaning to me. It does not say why the media should focus on ordinary stories. What if the readers' interest is the celeb's private life?