Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Toefl essay - Media invading public figures privacy.


sandipsinh 37 / 90 3  
Mar 21, 2014   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television, newspaper, magazines and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people such as public figure and celebrities. Use specific reasons and details to explain your opinion.

News that can be define as" north east west south" provides happening of all these four zones of the world. It is imperative to know about the world and latest happening of it. Previously news were telecasted by limited channels, however today many channels are available that unveils lot of information about world as well as celebrities and public figures. In my opinion, these new channels indeed spread awareness about the prominent figures in the public, nevertheless they must limit it to providing superficial information rather than publishing bit and piece of their life.

Firstly, many news channels currently televised news that are more about celebrities' personal life then critical matters of the world. These channels do so to gain publicity and viewers that give them attractive sum of billing. Although invading in anyone's personal life is not tolerable. Unfortunately public personalities cannot avoid media's invading attitude in their personal life. For example - Recently a Bollywood actor was going through a devastating phase of his life "Divorce". Anybody would require tranquil environment to come out of such trauma. But Indian channels didn't missed any chance to reach to the root of his divorce and fallowed him diligently. Also it fetch news channels an effortless news for months.

Secondly, few channels are specifically designed for delivering celebrities news. For instance Zoom (Indian channels) and U S weekly (USA's magazine), these channels attracts many follower. They are made to provide entertainment news to the crowd that include news of celebrities fashion lines, style, personal and professional life, with numbers of photographs. To quote an instance - US weekly televise new of celebrities fashion preferences, marriage and even family planning. By fallowing these news people tries to imitate public figures life style. It also aspires many to consider the profession of their favorite celebrity.

In order to make abundance profit and earning publicity these channels expose prominent people's life to public. And every part of these public figures life becomes matter of entertainment for the world. Everybody has right to leave life peacefully and privately as a human- public, media and also celebrities.

Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Mar 22, 2014   #2
News that can be define as" north east west south" provides happening of all these four zones of the world.

News can be defined
This is pretty weak as a hook. Your opening sentence, the hook, should be strong enough to grab the readers' attention towards your writing. So you need to have a more interesting,catchy sentence which has a relevance to your topic. This idea needs to be presented with more clarity. This one sounds pretty confusing :(

News that can be define as" north east west south" provides happening of all these four zones of the world. It is imperative to know about the world and latest happening of it. Previously news were telecasted by limited channels, however today many channels are available that unveils lot of information about world as well as celebrities and public figures. In my opinion, these new channels indeed spread awareness about the prominent figures in the public, nevertheless they must limit it to providing superficial information rather than publishing bit and piece of their life.

You need to improve on the structure of introduction.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 25, 2014   #3
News that can be defined as" north east west south" provides happening of all these four zones of the world. It is imperative to know about the world and latest happening of it. Previously news were telecasted by limited channels, however today many channels are available that unveilsbroadcast lot of information about world as well as celebrities and public figures.


Home / Writing Feedback / Toefl essay - Media invading public figures privacy.