The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities
Writing Task 2, Unit 4C, Page 45
The press tend to report about the lives and relationships of public figures. Some people argue that they have to take more attention to the ordinary society than famous people. However, in my opinion, the lives of ordinary society are important as well as celebrities.
People who argue that the journalist should report more ordinary people than famous people, they think that they also have a chance to be published in some television programmes. There are many talented people who come from small villages or rural areas, also enable to become a public figures. For instance, there is a painter who comes from a small district in Yogyakarta. He is born with disability and he has no arms. However, it cannot break his desire to create a beautiful painting by using his legs. In result, if a local media reports his life, it can help him to spread widely a positive sphere to the other people. So, reporting the lives of ordinary people has an essential role.
On the other hand, there are some main reasons why the media keep reporting more news about the lives and relationships of celebrities. They suggest that celebrities' lifestyle have make people more curious than another. For example, famous people usually take a vacation to the beautiful private islands or canyons, which need much money to be spent to visit there. So, the audience feel attract to watch them on television. Another reason, many celebrities are more talented than other people. They always create an impressive masterpice to the audience. For instance, Taylor Swift is a singer and a song-writer who has won twice in the Grammy Awards. As a result, many people choose her as the best public figure and want to know more about her daily activity, such as the preparation for the next album or tour. So, these reasons cause most reporters take much attention to famous people.
Overall, the news about the lives of ordinary society are also necessary to be reported by the media as well as actors or actresses. Although the ordinary society are able to give the possitive impacts by their natural skills, the way of celebrities lives and their creation are also entertaining. (367 words)
Hello Septia, I like the topic of your essay, however I think you should put attention into how you're delivering the message.it looks like you wrote the essay in one language and then used google translate to have it in english, Try to structure your essay in a better way. remmeber it should have an opening-body-clousure. Try to not repeat the same words, use more synonyms so it looks more fluent.
I would change your opening line with something like "Social media has the advantage to reach many people in diffferent angles, the press tends to pay extra attention to what celebrities are doing instead of focusing on what society is looking for"
I think you could use the example of the painter in a better way try something like: "For instance, there is a painter who comes from a small district in Yogyakarta. He was born with no arms, however his disability didnt stopped him to carry on with his dream and strated painting using his legs"
try this changes and rivise the whole thing...
best wishes
Hello Septia
You have a good summary
I have some corrections for you
Introduction :
... to report about the lives and relationshipspersonal life of public figures.
Body 1 :
He iswas born with disability and does nothe has no arms. However, it cannotwould not break his desire ...
InAs result, if a local media reports can expose his life, it can help... -->
[i]it would inspire a positive sphere to the many people around him.[ /i]
SoThus , reporting the lives ...
Body 2:
... more talented than other people as they have special figures.
... more about her daily activity, such aswhich are the preparation for ...
So,Thus , these reasons cause the most reporters take ...
Hi, Septia, here are some suggestions:
People who argue that the journalist should report more ordinary people than famous people, they think that they also have a chance to be published in some television programmes.
People who argue that the journalists should report more (...) they think that normal people also ...
enable to become a public figures .
Hope that could help you.
