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IELTS writing task 2 The media should report about famous or ordinary people?

isshi 1 / 1  
Nov 13, 2019   #1
Thanks a lot for your attention.

The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationship of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. To what extend do you agree?

what kind of people should the media be focused on?

Every day newspapers, magazines and television discuss private lives and rumours about well-known people, forgetting about locals around. It makes sense in order that the primary consideration of editors is profit and affairs of celebrities are sold well. However, viewers and readers must know about what is happen around people similar to them.

The great factor that constitutes the news is economics. There is no doubt, a magazine with celebrity on its cover will get buyers' attention. In addition, if American newspaper regularly covered issues such as gold mining in Argentina or diligent farmer who yield high crops, people would simply cancel their subscriptions. The interest in stories of high status persons is ingrained in the human nature, thus rumors about them get extensive coverage.

With the social media, thousands of ordinary people now have a chance to be in the limelight, inspiring others, who do not have a pedigree, to venture. Anyone with a smartphone now get access to talented writers, artists, cooks and bloggers and their authentic shows, avoiding notorious and addictive rumours and affairs. How great would it be if the mass media shared prominient stories about them, yet a vast majority of viewers and readers will focus on the unnecessary parts of famous people's lifestyles.

To conclude, the media outlets can not ignore the trivial banalities of celebrity affairs and focus primarily on the real world issues that concern us all. Therefore, it feeds people minds what they want in order to survive. Fortunately enough, with the help of technologies, users now have a life raft to cling to.
Maria - / 1098 389  
Nov 13, 2019   #2
Hi there. Welcome to the forum! Thanks for coming to the site. Hopefully, my feedback will give you insight on how to improve your writing.

I appreciate the writing approach that you have in the first paragraph. It was quite straightforward, making it easier to interpret the writing.

In the latter parts of the writing, the general issue that I have is mostly related to the transition between your sentences. Noticeably, the second to the third paragraphs are both quite inconsistent in the provision of information throughout your writing. While there's nothing fundamentally wrong with your writing itself, I have noticed that certain parts can appear to be rather baffling because of the method that you transition from one logical statement to another.
OP isshi 1 / 1  
Nov 13, 2019   #3
Your feedback is appreciated! I think I messed up task response a bit too. Will try to rewrite it somehow. Thank you!

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