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Medical doctors place of work - Writing essay from 150 words to 300 words

nhinhi 1 / -  
Apr 20, 2020   #1
Prompt : Most medical doctors want to work in cities where they will make a lot of money. Yet in many rural areas there are not enough doctors.

What are the reasons for this problem? How can it be solved?

The vast majority of medical graduates want to be employed in surburban areas ,but reality strikes that the force of doctors in rural areas is woefully inadequate .I can come up with reasons why this circumstance take place and the antidote to this hurdle.

Normally , an undergradute must undergo seven-year training in practice and 3 or 4 years as a junior doctor before becoming a full-fledged one. It is a prerequisite that you need a solid financial backing to pursue your dreams, but this is not the case for most of the would-be doctors.It is reasonable to understand that they want to earn money quickly to pay student loans and enjoy lives

It is common knowledge that everyone gravitates towards conspicious consumerism due to the fact that we live in a capitalistic world . However when we are torn bewteen morality and responsibility .We usually are in a dillemma about prioritizing materialism above societal proprieties or the contrast , especially in unquestionably moral field like being doctors. I put forward some suggestions that can alleviate this conered situation.First and foremost , the government should increase salary for doctors who work in remote areas because the most glaring reason for the insuffiiency is money. The government need to deal with this problem with delicay , they can raise tax to increase salary for doctors but the poor cant even make ends meet .They shouldn't compromise a respectable sector for a less deserving one.

This raises a sense of discontent surrounding the mass in any countries. They can enact a law that people with income over 200k dollars should pay more than 30% of their salaries for government .In my view this is the best solution I can come up with until now.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,857 4179  
Apr 20, 2020   #2
You were being asked to present at least 2 reasons in this essay. The reasons have to be 2 different reasons. You presented only one reason in this essay, the financial aspect. Which means, you did not fully utilize the opportunity to show your analytical thinking and ability to come up with creative responses to the given prompt. So this would have been a 3 reasoning paragraph essay instead of a 2 reasoning paragraph essay. The reasoning paragraphs should have indicated:

Par. 2: First reason (financial)
Par. 3: Second reason ( urban lifestyle of a medical doctor)
Par. 4: 2 common solutions for the 2 reasons previously stated.

You presented an incomplete solution because you only presented one solution to the common problem. 2 problems = 2 related solutions. The solutions cannot be presented as the concluding paragraph either. The concluding paragraph should be a formal summary of the previous discussion. It should serve as a wrap-up and reminder of what the previous discussion is.

Now, I know that there are also grammatical errors to look into within your work. However, the focus of my review is on the content because that will be the first thing that the examiner will score when he reads your work. That is the part that can pass or fail you during the actual test.

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