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medical treatment ielts test question


bteng011284 2 / 6 1  
Oct 20, 2014   #1
Most developed countries spend a large proportion of their health budgets on expensive medical technology and procedures. This money should be spent instead on health education to keep people well. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

There is burgeoning number of debate regarding the amount of expenditure spends by first world countries in regards to health between spending in research and institution and health promotion. Some sectors believe that the budget for health should be emphasized increasing research and medical technology. However, Other believe that instead of focusing on technological advancement, we should rather focus on health education and prevention. In my opinion the capital spending in health should be divided proportionally based on the needs of one country. This essay will discuss the side of the two issues and leave the final opinion of the topic to the reader.

Some people believe that developed country should emphasize their health budget on medical breakthroughs. They perceive that most of this country has the capital means to do the job. For instance, developing vaccine against the latest diseases or latest medicines for several diseases, which in turn will be beneficial for the future. Moreover, Success in discovering this innovation will put the nation to the worldwide map.

However, Other views this as irrelevant and budget should instead be focus on building individual knowledge and skills. They believe the health promotion is better than cure. According tot them, the benefits of health education are better for people to keep well because it doesn't consume large amount of money, thus it can be allocated better to more people. Unlike research, the error margin of health promotion is close to zero and the amount of expenses that we can allocate from this are almost cheaper than doing focusing on medical breakthrough.

In my opinion, It is important not to disregard the need of individuals in term of health. The expenses for health should address everyone in their nation of their needs. However, If a develop country has a means to promote advancement in the medical field, it will be better, not only for their country but also for the whole nation.

nickyzhi 8 / 21 8  
Oct 20, 2014   #2
in regards to

with regard to

Other

other sectors

It is important not to disregard the need of

kind of confused

has a means to

equip a method to
Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Oct 21, 2014   #4
You need to remove the first sentence of the second paragraph. Since, it seems like an introduction.
Mann_ms 9 / 20 5  
Oct 23, 2014   #5
Hi bteng...
allow me to give you littel bit suggest...

Other views this as irrelevant, and budget should instead be focus on building individual knowledge and skills

They believe that the health promotion is better than cure.

doesn't

Needless to say that in Iets writing task 2 we shouldn't write abbreviation. it would be better if you write "does not"

it doesn't consume large amount of money,

I would arguee that better of you use "spend" not consume..

Unlike research, the error margin of health promotion is close to zero, and the amount of expenses

you should put "comma" before "and" because I think that sentences not parallel
OP bteng011284 2 / 6 1  
Oct 24, 2014   #6
thank you for response, i learn a lot,
Remansou 8 / 23 9  
Oct 31, 2014   #7
Some sectors believe that the budget for health should be emphasized increasing research and medical technolog

should be allocated to seems to me better.
However, Others believe


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