it came back to her heart
Mieko - a little girl in Japan who was hurt in hand by atom bomb when America had dropped down it to 2 cities of Japan. She was studying calligraphy for a long time before that day the bomb came. She called the calligraphy skill is the fifth treasure that had made her brush could dance across the paper and the word-pictures were full of life. After the atom bomb horribly accident had happened, Meiko felt losing the fifth treasure so she cannot control the brushstrokes as she wants anymore.
Meiko had to live with her grand parents at the farm because her parents needed to stay at the city to treat for their patients who were also got hurt from the bomb. Meiko did not want to go to school because some of the students were laughing at her, specially there was a guy, scowling at her weird hands- Akira. She has a best friend, who has played and helped her to get confident to go to school again- Yoshi. When the school created the contest about artist brushstrokes, Yoshi asked Meiko to try to win this but Meiko knew that she cannot make it. Aunt Hisako asked Meiko " You don't want to be a coward, do you". This question made Meiko decided to enter the school contest because she wanted to show Aunt Hisako that she was not a coward.
Meiko had to live with her grandparents at the farm because her parents needed to stay in the city to treat for their patients who were also getting hurt from the bomb. Meiko did not want to go to school because some students were laughing at her, especially there was a guy, scowling at her weird hands- Akira. She has the best friend, who has played and helped her to get confident to go to school again- Yoshi. When the school created the contest about artist brush strokes, Yoshi asked Meiko to try to win this, but Meiko knew that she cannot make it. Aunt Hisako asked Meiko " You don't want to be a coward, do you". This question made Meiko decided to enter the school contest because she wanted to show Aunt Hisako that she was not a coward.
Meiko practices much time, but her word-pictures were to lack the spark of life. It is almost as if they were printed by a machine. Meiko was sure that the fifth treasure had gone since the bomb. She felt her life as close without the fifth treasure. Her grandpa said that bomb hurt many people and it hurt your hand. But what was inside of you- the bomb cannot touch that. He suggested giving herself and her brush a rest. Meiko got a sheet of hand-made rice paper from Aunt Hisako after a vacation day. The school contest was the word " Friendship". Meiko's friendship was Yoshi. Inside her magical world- a world where lines and shapes came to life- she saw only the paper and her brush. In her mind's eye, she pictured each stroke. Meiko painted the word so quickly that it was through her hand being guided. And the brush really did dance across the paper- just as it used to. Meiko was happy when the fifth treasure came back to her heart, but she was also sad because she would move back to her parent's place in New year's holiday. Yoshi suggested that they might write letters to each other and Meiko also might to come back for the summer holidays.Your grasp of language is to be appreciated. Aside from this, however, I would recommend that you try to revise a couple of portions that seem to not flow organically.
For instance, let's try these lines:
Meiko, a little Japanese girl, had her hand hurt when America dropped an atom bomb to two cities in Japan. [...] She called calligraphy the fifth treasure; it made her brush dance across the paper to fill the word-pictures with life. After the horrid accident, Meiko felt as if she has lost the fifth treasure, making her incapable of controlling the brushstrokes the way she used to.
When you're mentioning numbers, it's more formal to write it out rather than putting the number as is. You should also try to have more hold with how descriptive you make your words out to be. Try to always follow conventional rules in writing, ensuring that you create complete thoughts as you compose.
In your second paragraph:
Meiko had to live with her grandparents at the farm. Her parents stayed behind in the city to treat patients from the bomb. She had lost her desire to go to school as students were taunting her for her oddly-shaped hands. A guy named Akira continuously scowled at her. Yoshi, her best friend, tried to help her regain her confidence.
Her school had conducted a contest on brush strokess; Yoshi immediately nudged her to join. While Meiko was initially reluctant, being taunted by her Aunt Hisako made her change her decision. "You don't want to be a coward, don't you?" She said.
You can try to observe the techniques that I had used in these paragraphs and implement them to the rest of your essay. Best of luck.
