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Memorable day in my entire life!


ninamoradi 1 / 1  
Jan 27, 2014   #1
I have lots of vacation in my life,but some of them are different than othere's.I can remember it was 2 years ago that one of my best friends called me and said "we decide to go travel in Khozestan(its a city in south of Iran.)Do yo want come with us?"At that time I was not in Tehran .I said' I need time to make a decision" and then he said because of limited ticket ,we did not have enough time.Thus I agreed to go with them.

It was winter.We select Khozestan because it is one of the warmer city in Iran,so in winter it does not have cold.We choose train as public transportation for journey.Train has lots of benefit than the other transportation s.In train you have your wagon,and it means you do not be quiet.You are free in whatever you want to do like laugh ,play ,read etc.Since we are not silent people it was better use train.our travel started in night.We had funny time in train.As far as I remember,we asleep just 1 hour.

We arrived in morning.Although weather was proper and good,but to much dust was in the air.Then we had to use mask.In all of our pictures we put mask.It likes people who escape from hospital and funny.

The first place we visited was Shosh Palace.As you know it has long history.This place was incredible .We have a leader who has good information about that.Then we went to Danial Tomb.It is religious place and ladies had to put big and long scarf (in Iran,it is name Chador.) Because of this rolls all of girls in our group put it.They are flower Chadors.We look funny ,so we take picture with them.

I should say it was special for me because I got a number of new things.It was very different than travels with family.When you are with people that are in your age,your needs are same.I do not say which of them is better ,but I think every person should have this two experiences.

I am studying for Ielts exam and hope you help me to improve my skills.
thanks everybody

fikri 5 / 317 71  
Jan 27, 2014   #2
It was winter.We select Khozestan because it is one of the warmer city in Iran,so in winter it does not have cold.We choose train as public transportation for journey

which tense would you like to use? simple past or present simple?

another thing is when you put two sentences in one sentence, pay more attention with punctuation, especially comma.
OP ninamoradi 1 / 1  
Jan 27, 2014   #3
Thank you fikri
I should used simple past sentence.
What do you think about the grammar?Is it very simple?
fikri 5 / 317 71  
Jan 27, 2014   #4
I think so, you should use more than just simple sentence, I suggest to try some complex sentences.
it will be better.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jan 29, 2014   #5
I have lots of vacation in my life,but some of them are different than othere's.I can remember it was 2 years ago that one of my best friends called me and said "we decide to go travel in Khozestan(its a city in south of Iran.)

... This has some grammar issues. Also, try to avoid using numbers in essay writing.
I have spent lots of vacations in my life, but only a few of them have been able to make lasting memories for me. Two years ago, a friend of mine rang me and said "we are planning to travel in Khozestan, a city of south Iran.

.We choose train as public transportation for journey..Train has lots of benefit than the other transportation s

Train was our mode of transportation for the journey because its advantages over other options of transportation.


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