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Men (1998-99) preferred to allocate their time for leisure activities more than women (TASK I IELTS)


ieltstudent 1 / 2  
Sep 24, 2014   #1
The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The bar chart compares the number of hours per week spent on leisure by people according to gender and job states.

Overall, it's clear that men preferred to allocate their time for leisure activities more than women. The people who spent the most time on leisure were unemployed males and retired males, with over 80 hours per week.

According to the chart, males employed full time spent around 45 hours on leisure activities while this figure was just under 40 hours for females employed full time. Even though there is no data provided for males employed part time, females with part time jobs enjoyed leisure times as much as employed males, with over 40 hours a week.

On the other hand, people without an employment from both sexes devoted around 80 hours in a week to leisure over a period of 2 years while men preferred to spend around 10 more hours per week in comparison with females. The same figure was obtained for retired people from both genders. Lastly, housewives enjoyed around 50 hours on leisure activities in a normal week.

Thank you so for much for your feedbacks & I would be happy if you could give me ielts band scores for the essay as well!




sa1na 9 / 72 19  
Sep 24, 2014   #2
males employed full time spent around 45 hours - male full-time employees (i believe it might sound better)
I am not familiar with IELTS as much to be able to score you. However, isn't the respond a bit short? If there is no word limit for this, I think you can spread it more.
OP ieltstudent 1 / 2  
Sep 24, 2014   #3
males employed full time spent around 45 hours - male full-time employees (i believe it might sound better)

Actually , the word limit is 150 at IELTS Task I and word count for my essay is 181 words.

Thank you for the response!
brty 2 / 9  
Sep 24, 2014   #4
You write well.
As a peer feedback, I can say that the structure and the language are nice.
OP ieltstudent 1 / 2  
Sep 24, 2014   #5
Thank your for the feedback! Have any idea which band score I would get ?
brty 2 / 9  
Sep 26, 2014   #6
As a student, I would say not less than 6-6,5.
vincentfreeman 7 / 20 2  
Sep 27, 2014   #7
With some improvement as shown above, yours would deserve a 7


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