Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Men and women are different in the way they behave and are treated


DmitryB 3 / 3  
Sep 5, 2016   #1
'Men and women are, and always will be, different in the way they behave and are treated'. Do you agree with this statement?

It is a very controversial issue whether women and men have different natural ability or not. There are many arguments supporting both views, those for and those against. Moreover, there is much evidence that proves some significant differences between male and female from genetic and natural habits approach.

On the one hand, it can not be overlooked that men and women have clear difference in physical appearance which make them suitable for different types of work. For example, a man can be a good mechanical engineer or builder because he can work under tremendous pressure at a factory and struggle with different kinds of problems and interact with workmen who might have quite violent behaviour. In contrast, the woman who has the same job, can not handle all the problems and step by step she might run into several mental problems at her workplace which seriously impact her life. Furthermore, some evidence shows that women who are psychologists are twice as successful as men in the same position. They are patient and good listeners when people talk about their problems. Of course, it can not be forgotten that there are some exceptions in any fields.

On the other hand, these days, due to several economical problems, women have to work just to earn money. They have to get a job regardless of their natural abilities. In some cases, women like to experience different kinds of jobs that they were banned from doing in the past. For instance, they tend to work as top managers or politicians and the governments in several countries provide them with great opportunities to get these kinds of jobs.

In conclusion, I believe that although there are several males and females who would be able to do any type of activity equally, their significant differences in natural habits and physical abilities should be taken into consideration by government and society.

(314 words)

Naoki28 10 / 18 2  
Sep 6, 2016   #2
Hello, DmitryB.
Check the amendment below.

..., those for and those against. .

... work under tremendous pressures at a factory and struggle ...
... woman who has the same job, can not handle all ...
wahyu 16 / 28 1  
Sep 6, 2016   #3
whats app Dmitry your essay is better than before, i have a suggestion to your introduction paragraph.

you could use this pattern :
1. Bridge ( give some background to the topic to the topic using some fact)
2. Reserve some of the information, paraphrase and use some synonyms.
3. Tell the reader what will be in your essay.

It is a very controversial issue whether women and men have different natural ability or not. There are many arguments supporting both views, those for and those against. Moreover, there is much evidence that proves some significant differences between male and female from genetic and natural habits approach.

Nowadays the issue of gender more common in our daily life. Males and females have different natural abilities and skills to solve their problems. I believe that some significant differences between men and women from genetic and natural habits approach.

On the one hand,

you can change to Obviously to reduce repetition worlds in the begging of paragraph.


Home / Writing Feedback / Men and women are different in the way they behave and are treated