Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child's success in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
When it comes to whether classmates exert more influence than parents on a child's success in school, I certainly believe that parents play a more important role than classmates on a child's success in school.
First, small children can often be seen as blank paper; the environment created by a parent would have implicit, but significant influences on children before their school ages. Favorable environment created by parents will increase the odds for children to success in school. There is a story about Meng Zi who was an eminent philosopher in ancient China. When Meng Zi was a child, his mother did not wish small Meng Zi to grow up to be a common illiterate civilian. She believed that if her son grew up amongst illiterate men then he too would be as illiterate as them. Thus she moved the houses several times and finally settled down near a private school , where Meng Zi could easily access knowledge and make contacts with intellectual.
In addition to that, compared with classmates, parents have long term effective impact on the children. When children were very small, they obeyed what parent said, as they used to fully rely on parents. When they grow up, they will find there are some similarities with classmates and classmates begin to exert influence on them. Although in a certain period, children spent more time with classmate and got a better understanding from classmates. Parents still have the most effective impact on their children in long term. Familiar classmates will leave them after a few years, but to be success in the school needs long term unremitting effort, thus continuous encourage and support from parent will have more opportunities to make important influence for a long term.
Finally, although classmates have similar experience and psychology, that do not mean children can only be well known by his peers, actually it should be easier for children to communicate with their parents. Before the school ages, children and parents had built close relationship, and parents would live with children until they grew up. In long term, parents have more time to get in touch with children than any other single classmate, thus parents have more opportunities to be the person who has the best understanding on their children.
In conclusion, neither the role of parents nor classmates should be denied, but I believe that the children's success is affected more by their parents than by their classmates.
I have a few suggestions;
When it comes to whether classmates exert more influence than parents on a child's success in school, I would claim that parents play a more significant role;
I certainly believe that parents play a more important role than classmates on a child's success in school.
I think you better improve the second paragraph as it is not very clear what you really mean.
First, Small children can be seems as blank paper, the environment created by parent would have implicit but significant influence on children before his school age.
==> don't capitalize on the word "small." But, try this instead:
First, small children can often be seen as blank paper; the environment created by a parent would have implicit, but significant influences on children before the school ages.
Third paragraph: "In addition "to" that...." not "of that."
Use the suggestions that the others have provided to you as well, and I think that you will have a fine essay.
Mark
Some great corrections have been made here. For example, now you know that the common expression is:
In addition to that, ...
not
In addition of that
The most important and difficult part of learning a language is using the proper verb forms. Do a lot of reading and writing if you want to get good at this. Look at the change I will make here:
When children were very small, they obeyed what parents said, as they had used to fully rely on parents .
When children were very small, (this is about the past)...so we change obey to obeyed: they obeyed what parents ...
The only way to improve is to practice by typing sentences that you know are correct. Please make the corrections we gave you here, and continue practicing with us! :-)
