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The merit and drawback of working before attending university for high school leavers

RAY93 35 / 186 136  
Mar 28, 2016   #1
Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university.
Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

It is argued that better if student enrich their knowledge and experience by taking paid job before attending university rather than directly continue their education in the higher level. Thus, it has aroused contradict opinion regarding to the benefit and drawback of this issue. However, I believe that young people need to pursue their tertiary education degree first before involved in working.

Supporters of the idea that high school leavers should work in a few years before study at college concern about the experience and skill which could be obtained by them in work field. They would have enlarged proficiency, particularly practical skill, instead of only written theory dictated to them during study at the educational institutions. Young people work in a certain industry or office can increase their social ability among labors and also with them in the higher position, improve their general knowledge about manufacturing and business field, build their discipline and personal character as the part of human resource in their work as well as a chance to gather and manage their finance. Obviously, they will have more experience and information as their preparation to face adult life hood in both campus and future career.

On the other hand, they may lack the opportunity to be granted degree earlier at university as they spend their time for working formerly. Even the experience and knowledge are important for the bright resume for seeking job, but the first prerequirement looking by employers is at least their bachelor certificate. Those who have related major or educational background with the career position offered would have the priority to be accepted whether they are experienced or not. It is pivotal for high school alumni for attending higher education and then finishes their study as their basic to compete on the real work life.

To sum up, there is an advantage and disadvantage for young generation who chose to work before continue their study at campus. Yet, I disagree that they should take a job first since education is more essential for fulfilling their well-paid and stable occupation at future.

justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Mar 28, 2016   #2
Ray, this essay has almost the same writing enhancements as most of your essay, I mean I don't expect you to master the art of English writing straight away but you can always take note of the writing suggestions specially here from EF.

The one that I'm talking about is that the lack of linking verbs in your sentences, I must say, as tiny as this additions are, they are essential in creating a sentence that flows smoothly and as the sentences flow, the essays paragraphs will definitely be a good compilation f strong and well written essay.

Now, when you do the revision, mind the linking verbs, punctuation marks as well as the tenses of the words you input in the essay, this small details are commonly missed, especially when you are engrossed to the topic and in doing so, it actually doesn't help in creating a well written essay, so you have to be really careful.

I hope to see your revision soon.

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