SOME SUGGEST THAT YOUNG PEOPLE SHOULD TAKE A JOB FOR A FEW YEARS BETWEEN SCHOOL AND UNIVERSITY.
DISCUSS WHAT ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES MIGHT BE FOR PEOPLE WHO DO THIS.
It is assumed that it is better for youngsters to work for a few years before continuing their study at university. However, there are several merits and drawbacks about this notion. This essay will discuss both sides.
These days and ages, a great number of teenagers choose to take a break for a while and applying in particular work to gain experiences. Firstly, they learn to socialize widely in the working world and accustomed to face various characteristic of other coworkers. They will involve with some problem and adjust to solve similar situation later. In addition they also learn to be more aware of using money as they know how hard it is to earn money.
However, there are some demerits of this choice for adolescents. First and foremost, as the world developed, some companies require specific criteria to employ people such as particular degree. This causes that they will not get any opportunity to get well-paid job or even a high position in organizations due to the reason that it is generally offered for collage graduators. Also, the most important point, psychologically, there is a best time for human to learn when they are much younger so that they should not loss the opportunity to study when they can.
To sum up, the choice of youngster whether they continue their study or get a job first, brings some advantages and disadvantages for them. The best solution is for teenagers to think carefully by considering the effects for what work the best for their future.
I agree that you have written a very logical essay. The clear sense of what you wish to say in English, regardless of the grammar problems, indicates that you are becoming quite comfortable in thinking and writing in the English language. I would say that you vocabulary at this point is at the professional level but lower than the advanced status of use. The sentence development is also moderately advanced and shows how you have began to acclimatize yourself with the written word. Even with the grammar problems, I am sure that this essay will pass the test because of the level of English expertise that is reflected in your work.
Now for the changes:
... is better for youngsters HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATES to work...their study STUDIES at A university. However, there are several merits and drawbacks ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES CONNECTED WITH about this notion ...
These days and ages ,... and applying in IN ORDER TO APPLY FOR particular work to gain experiences. Firstly, they THEY learn to socialize widely in the working world and accustomed AND GET USED TO DEALING WITH VARIOUS PEOPLE to face various characteristic of other coworkers.They will involve with some problem and adjust to solve similar situation later. THEY LEARN FROM THEIR WORK MISTAKES FOR APPLICATION TO THEIR FUTURE ENDEAVORS...
However, there are some demerits of this NEGATIVE EFFECTS WHEN CHOOSING THIS OPTION FOR choice for adolescents TEENAGERS. First and foremost, as the world developed, some companies require A specific criteria ... This causes MEANS that they will not get any opportunity to get well-paid job... offered for collage graduators TO COLLEGE GRADUATES. Also, the most important point, psychologically, there is a best time for human to learn when they are CTHE BEST TIME TO LEARN IS WHEN ONE IS much younger so that they should not loss LOSE the opportunity to study when they can.
To sum up, the choice of youngsterS , whether they continue their study STUDIES or get a job first, ...
