Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Midnight exam - write story. story in 150 words.

lethixuantrinh 1 / -  
May 6, 2019   #1

A bad dream

It was midnight, after reviewing the exam tomorrow, I went to bed. In my sleepping, I dreamed of a terrible story. I found myself going to another world, this place was all black. I saw many people wearing long black dresses and holding a sharp stick, fierce face, and blood stains. My heart is pounding, a crowd comes behind me. Suddenly, I shouted, they quickly grabbed me and let me into a trunk. I was taken to a darker place. It was horrible, the sound was chaotic with screams, crying, screaming. each one was cut to pieces, blood flowed, and then put into a pot of boiling water. "Oh, no!" I shouted. I suddenly got up, my heart was pounding, it turned out to be a dream, and I looked at the clock now at 3:00 am. I was nervous, scared, sweaty. Finally, I didn't sleep until the next morning.

(i need to edit grammar)

Maria - / 1,100 389  
May 6, 2019   #2
Watch out for the lack of preposition in your essay. This can affect the flow of your content. Make sure that you always try to construct sentences with complete thoughts. I recommend opting for simpler sentences instead of complex ones; and then, build up from this. Mixing up your structure can go a long way when it comes to establishing a more organic tone. Moreover, try your best to establish better transitions when you're moving from one sentence to another.

For instance:

It was midnight when I finished reviewing for my exam. I had gone to bed afterwards. I had a nightmare*. I found myself in a different world; it was all black. I saw people wearing long black dresses and holding sharp sticks with a fierce facial expression and blood stains all over them. [...]

*I highly recommend opting for these alternatives rather than simply writing down everything. Doing this will sharpen your content.

Keep these in mind. Best of luck!

Home / Writing Feedback / Midnight exam - write story. story in 150 words.