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Mobile phone merits and defects.


ung0911 2 / 4  
Oct 22, 2009   #1
Hey, could you please help check the grammar and add some comments of what you think of my essay. This is first time I write paper. I just practice writing for improve English skill.

The mobile phone has been affecting our life. Some people think that mobile phone is precondition. But others do not agree the idea, they insist that mobile phone should be banned in public places, because using of mobile phone in public places disturb others. In this paper, the advantage and the disadvantage will be discussed.

There is no doubt that mobile phone is the most fast and convenient means of communication. Many people think that mobile phone is much more than a means of communication.

While is has lots of merits, it also bring about lots of problems. Using of mobile phone in public places irritates other people. When they on the phone, they never concern about other's mood. Moreover mobile phone's electron wave leads to machine malfunction that cause big disasters such as air crash.

In conclusion, mobile phone user should learn to more considerate and observe some common rules of etiquette.

kb2010 2 / 3  
Oct 22, 2009   #2
here are a few things i think could be different.

The mobile phone has (always affected) our life. Some people think that mobile phone is precondition. But others do not agree(with this) idea, they insist that (the) mobile phone should be banned in public places, because (the use of the) mobile phone in public places disturb(s) others. In this paper, the advantage(s) and the disadvantage(s) (of the mobile phone) will be discussed.

There is no doubt that (the) mobile phone is the (fastest) and (most) convenient means of communication. Many people (also) think that (the) mobile phone is much more than a means of communication.

While is has (a) lot of merits, it also bring(s) about lots of problems. Using (the) mobile phone in public places irritates other people. When they on the phone, they never (worry) about other(s') mood. Moreover mobile phone's electron wave(s) leads to machine malfunction(s) that cause big disasters such as air (plane) crash(es).

In conclusion, (the) mobile phone user should learn to (be) more considerate and observe some common rules of etiquette.

-those are mose of the grammar issues which i found.

-also, you could try replacing mobile phone with cell phone or just leave it out in some places because it gets really repetitive
OP ung0911 2 / 4  
Oct 23, 2009   #3
Thanks for your correction and advice.

I am bad at English, so i need more practice.


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