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'modern appliances' - Technology help improve our lifestyle


annguyen 5 / 9 2  
Nov 14, 2012   #1
Modern appliances in the home have become common leaving no doubt that advances in technology help improve our lifestyle. Do you agree or disagree?

At the turn of 21st century, the immense advances in technology have made a profound impact on every aspect of people's lives. Concerning the advent of modern appliances in the home, some argue that these inventions are making our lives increasingly complicated. However, as far as I am concerned, a substantial reduction in doing domestic chores and more leisure activities are tangible benefits that modern appliances make people's lives improve.

The first point needs to be made is that people are likely to reduce their time in doing domestic chores thanks to household appliances. Washing machines, for instance, are modified for different types of clothes; thus, people no longer need to spend much time on their laundry. Another example is microwave oven, it enables housewives to cook and heat food surprisingly faster. As these examples make clear, people, therefore, can lessen the amount of time they spend on domestic chores.

Equally relevant to the issue is that modern appliances provide people with a wide variety of leisure activities. Various devices have been modernized to meet people's leisure interests. For instance, by means of HD televisions, people are able to watch live soccer matches comfortably at home. Even viewers can enjoy lots of high-quality films thanks to 3D television screens without going to the movies. In addition, mobile phones or computers make people accessible to a great source of entertainment such as video games, Internet, and so forth. In short, people can enjoy more leisure activities with the help of modern appliances.

However, some have opposing view that modern appliances have contributed to people's sedentary lifestyle. Because of their growing reliance on household devices, people do not want to involve in any domestic tasks but to sit in chairs. As a result, they are likely to be passive or suffer from obesity. Nonetheless, it is my contention that people can know how to make reasonable use of these appliances with a view to not causing undesirable consequences.

In the light of the above-mentioned argument, one can safely conclude that modern appliances offer us great conveniences to improve people's lives. These technological devices have served as assistance helping people to handle domestic chores, and also to participate in various leisure activities

princedynasty 15 / 57 4  
Nov 14, 2012   #2
The first point THAT needs to be made
microwave oven, Which enables
assistance helping people=> redundancy
have helped people to...
Inspired2012 4 / 20 6  
Nov 14, 2012   #3
Hi annguyen!! How are you?? I will see what I can suggest to improve your essay... here it isssssssssssssssssssss... ;)

However, as far as I am concerned, a substantial reduction in doing domestic chores and more leisure activities aretangible benefits that modern appliances make people's lives improve.

However, as far as I am concerned, a substantial reduction in doing domestic chores and more leisure activities are circumstances which prove that modern appliances make people's lives improve.

The first point needs to be made is that people are likely to reduce their time in doing domestic chores thanks to household appliances.

I think the word "Firstly" will sound better, or "on the one point" you don't have to say needs to be made because you are already making the point. ;)

people no longer need to spend much time ondoing their laundry.

Another example is microwave oven, it enables housewives to cook and heat food surprisingly faster. As these examples make clear, people, therefore, can lessen the amount of time they spend on domestic chores.

Another example is a microwave oven, it enables housewives to cook and heat food surprisingly faster. As these examples make clear, people, therefore, can lessen the amount of time they spend on domestic chores. These examples made it clear that advances in technology can lessen the amount of time people spend on doing domestic chores.

Even viewers can enjoy lots of high-quality films thanks to 3D television screens without going to the movies.

Even without going to the a movie theatre , viewers can enjoy lots of high-quality films, thanks to 3D television screens.

In addition, mobile phones or computers make people accessiblegive people access to a great source of entertainment such as video games, Internet, and so forth.

However, some have opposing view that modern appliances have contributed to people's sedentary lifestyle. Because of their growing reliance on household devices, people do not want to involve in any domestic tasks but to sit in chairsrather sit in a chair for long hours. As a result, they are likely to be passive or suffer from obesity. Nonetheless, it is my contention that people can know how to make reasonable use of these appliances with a view to not causing undesirable consequences.I am not sure what do you mean? Rephrase?

Overall, it is a good essay construction. Your vocabulary is strong. Only minor errors are seen with presenting thoughts and small grammatical errors. Is this for IELTS? ;)
OP annguyen 5 / 9 2  
Nov 16, 2012   #4
@Inspired2012: hiii.^^I'm doing fine:). what about u?
I'm going to take an exam in my country. It's similar to IELTS. I think I still need to enrich my vocab.:)
"Nonetheless, it is my contention that people can know how to make reasonable use of these appliances with a view to not causing in order not to cause undesirable consequences" ->is it ok?

Anyway, thank you so muchhh :)
Inspired2012 4 / 20 6  
Nov 16, 2012   #5
You're welcome ;) Yes, that is so much better.


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