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IELTS Task 2 : Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create.


tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Jan 27, 2014   #1
Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while other struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

According to Gordon M. Smith, who is senior economists from Harvard University at The United States, has conducted the reason why artists could lead in gigantic financial matter. It is because they have hard work and spent much hour at work. Not surprisingly, there is different amount of income with other people who have different occupation with low salary. What are the major contributing factors in the success of artists? Could governments make a balance this situation? Without further ado, let's delve into pro and contra of this issue.

The sound of art connects with uniqueness which is poured original creativity by artists and every single masterpiece depicts different soul of art. Because of that, many people are willing to pay for something that they are admire and would like to own. An artist gives something up to create a portrait, not only spent a lot of time, but also fulfill imagination. Leonardo da vinci, who painted legendary masterpiece portrait "Monalisa", took more than a year to finish it, but he got more than 2 billion dollars from selling his product, for instance. Whatever the reason, I would give an argumentation that government cannot prevent artist to earn much money from their products. There is a right of artists to get the worth appreciate from their creation such as money or popularity. However, public should consider what is something worth which is paid with higher amount, even there are many little known artists who find hard to earn income.

In the other case, well-known artists attempt to explore their ability as a business people to collect much money. They are not pay attention with quality, but money expectation is the main purpose. Popularity and reputation are the guarantee to sell a lot of products which give high income. This condition seems unfair to others unknown artists who are beginner to introduce they products with many obstacle to compete with other artists who have excellent reputation. Standing in contrast, popular artists have spent years for developing skills and experiences which are quite expensive things and cannot be bought by money. Every exhibition was improving their ability and skill to be expert and they have learnt from a mistake in the past, for instance. Thus this is fair that famous artists have got high nominal of their product.

Ultimately, the high income is a reflection of artists' effort and loyalty of art. Having said this, government cannot stop artists' creativity, because creativity is a right for all people who can think and show up their sense of art by painting or other art products. In my eyes, popular artists should pay attention of their product's quality to survive and compete with new artists in the future.

Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Jan 27, 2014   #2
According to Gordon M. Smith, who is senior economists from Harvard University at The United States, has conducted the reason why artists could lead in gigantic financial matter

... this has a grammar issue :(
If you start with the phrase, "According to Gordon M Smith" then you have to say something like;
According to Gordon M Smith, the reasons for their success vary among different artists.
Also, I don't find this is a meaningful beginning for your essay. What does it really mean? What is the relevance of that sentence to your topic?
OP tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Jan 28, 2014   #3
Dear Pahan,

According to Gordon M. Smith, who is senior economists from Harvard University at The United States, has conducted the reason why artists could lead in gigantic financial matter. It is because they have hard work and spent much hour at work. Not surprisingly, there is different amount of income with other people who have different occupation with low salary.

Thanks for your advise. I try to follow your and dumi suggestion to creat a hook in the introduction. Because of that, I rise a people opinion in the intoduction and i combine with paraphrasing from the title.
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Jan 28, 2014   #4
I try to follow your and dumi suggestion to creat a hook in the introduction.

Well, dumi's suggestion for introduction structure is very logical and contain all the features for you to earn marks easily. Hook is not always a must, but it helps you impress the reader and grabs his attention to your writing. However, the background and your opinion should be mandatory features in your intro. It is always good to finish your introduction with a statement expressing your opinion in this type of Agree/ Disagree essays.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jan 28, 2014   #5
Whatever the reason, I would give an argumentation that government cannotshouldn't prevent artist to earn much money from their products.
Well, above is your opinion and ideally it should have said in your introduction. You should use your body paragraphs to justify your opinion by giving reasons and supporting them with more specific examples.


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