Many people think modern communication technology is having some negative effects on social relationships. Do you agree or disagree?
Online communication technologies have revolutionized how people interact with each other. I agree that these technologies have adverse impacts on interpersonal relationships.
Social apps may make communication shallower and thus make relationships more cosmetic. First, people, particularly the youth, may trade off face-to-face communication for online messaging. In this way, they would miss important non-verbal information including facial expressions, tones, and body language. Relegating face-to-face talks to exchange of texts could result in a lack of deep understanding between people. Also, the "like" feature on social media cannot strengthen interpersonal ties. This is because "likes" do not carry any information further than general appreciation. On the contrary, spending too much time on liking posts could mean that no time is left for quality communications.
An equally worrying effect of online communication is that it may spread jealousy and anxiety. Fascinating travel pictures, photos of perfect bodies, and impressive update on profiles are abundant on Facebook feeds. On seeing these posts from friends, one may feel jealous and anxious. Some may even feel like a failure in comparison to their friends. To avoid this sense of defeat, some may alienate themselves from their friends. As a result, online communication tools could make their users more isolated.
To conclude, modern messaging tools could degrade interpersonal relationships, although they were designed to forge communication. Main impacts include shallower interactions and a sense of alienation.
Generally speaking, your essay is quite good. You are able to use a variety of sentences and vocabulary. I have only some suggestions for you.
Firstly, I think the first paragraph is too short, especially there is no connection between the first and second sentence when you talk about your statement. Maybe adding more relevant explanations between them, at least one sentence, would be better. It can not only help readers more easily to follow the idea of this essay, but also could add more words in it since it is apparent that words are not enough for Ielts writing task 2 ( at least 250 ).
Secondly, there are a few grammar mistakes like
First Firstly, quality communications communications in good quality.
Hope my suggestions are helpful