Please, evaluate my essay
Topic: Modern environmental issues are so complicated that a person alone can do nothing about them.
In our time people have made big breakthroughs in science and medicine. There are many things we can do. We have flown in space, we can treat many dangerous diseases and we may fast cover long distances. But one thing we do not care about is our environment. Every day plants emit dangerous chemical substances and dump them in water. Our planet suffers from our activity. Some organizations try to protect nature, but they can't do anything. Our planet keeps deteriorating. I guess these organizations can't improve the current ecological situation, because modern environmental issues are so complicated that a person or a certain organization alone can do nothing about them.
Firstly, everyone has their personal share in pollution. Many people have cars. Cars emit exhaust fumes and if one person or organization tries to stop this activity, they will do nothing because they cannot forbid everybody to drive cars. They only can attempt to inform people how they impair our environment and that exhaust fumes contribute to the depletion of the ozone layer.
Secondly, our relations with nature has become too complicated to us, that we can not break off instantly the pollution of our planet. Plants work because we need goods and food for our life, we drive cars because we need do some things fast, for example help people. Only new scientific achievements will help us to reduce air and water pollution. For example, there are many new methods helping to get energy without contamination of the atmosphere. Cars can work without fuel, using solar batteries.
Taking everything into account, people are facing the big trouble and we should gather together to improve our planet.
Cars emit exhaust fumes, and if one person or organization tries to stop this activity, they will do accomplish nothing because they cannot forbid everybody to drive cars.
Hey, you did a great job! I think you are supposed to write about whether you agree or disagree with the statement. Most people probably say they disagree and write that one person CAN help solve the problem. But I like what you did. This essay gives a great argument that we must "gather together to improve our planet."
Secondly, our relations with nature has have become so complicated to us that we cannot break off instantly the pollution of our planet.
:-)
You have a great essay.
However, I think the word count is less than 300. TOEFL expects you to write more than 300 words. So be mindful about your word count.
Hi,
I like your essay. It has good points. However, since you practise for toefl, it is better that you leave a line between paragraphs to give it a neat and tidy look. I think that would help you to impress the evaluators.
