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In this modern era, we are unknowingly using products which create a lot of useless material


Mayank7g 9 / 17  
Sep 8, 2016   #1
Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why so you think this is happening? What can government do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?

Today the most serious problem is the global warming and waste from industries and daily lives are its major contributors. Since we live in a modern era, we unknowingly are using products which produce lot of useless material. I will further discuss this briefly in my essay.

At the outset, producing waste has been a habit these days. The foremost reason of this is the use of plastic bags for carrying goods from shops, Everyday millions of people do shopping and produces tons of waste. Furthermore, since the development in industries have been increased their contribution for producing rubbish have also been increased. Recently newspaper claimed that, IT industries comparing to their last year annual waste report are producing 40% more litter this year and this included elements like silicon, titanium etc. which are harmful for environment.

In addendum, Government have to take some strict measures to reduce the amount of useless item have been produced. Firstly, they should ban the plastic polybags and should provide the alternative solution like eco-friendly bags to carry products. Secondly, they should start the campaign program to aware the people about harmful effects of waste they are generating in their daily lives. At last, Government should provide some limitation on manufacturing number of products in industries.

In conclusion, to keep the environment clean is our responsibility and this will only possible if we use the products which are not harmful and can easily recycled. Government should also have to be join hands with people to solve the problem of rubbish.

Wolf Larsen - / 127 47  
Sep 8, 2016   #2
Hello

Your text will sound much better if you apply the following stylistic adjustments to it:

One ofthe most serious problems is considered global warming. Humanity does actively contribute towards making this problem ever more serious.
has been [...] a commonplace trend...
and produces tons ofthis adds to the accumulation of waste.
havehas been increased [...] gaining a momentum... the production of rubbish has increased, as well.
IT industries comparing to what it used to be the case one year ago, IT industries produce 40% more waste, including...
The government...
itemshave been produced.
ban the plastic... and should provide...
start the campaign program [...] awareness campaign so that people know...
should provide some limitation [...] limit the production of certain industrial goods.
will only be...
should also have to be join hands [...] be willing to cooperate with ordinary people while trying to preserve the natural environment.

I hope this helped. Regards.
OP Mayank7g 9 / 17  
Sep 8, 2016   #3
Thank you Larsen for your valuable suggestions. I will surely try to implement it in next essay.

Apart from this. Please comment on these points.. Task Response, Lexical Resource, Grammatical range and accuracy, coherence and cohesion.
ekalamarsyari11 72 / 108 9  
Sep 10, 2016   #4
i would like to focus on your introduction paragraph

Today the most serious problem is ...

in the introduction paragraph you should do this:
- paraphrase the question
- give your clear opinion to answer the questions

therefore, i am really sorry to say that i did not find those points in your introduction paragraph.

here is my alternative paragraph:
Waste has become the most serious problem around the world. Industrial and household waste are the major contributors. In my opinion, Government has an important role to overcome this issue. Some regulations should be carried out immediately such as..........


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