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Modern form of communication such as email and messaging have reduced people time spending


Huynh Anh 4 / 6 2  
Oct 26, 2016   #1
Write about the following topic:

Modern form of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives:

Our social lives have changed since since electronic email and messaging have appear. However, it is not at all certain that our social lives are worse at the result. In many ways, they are better.

In the past, people communicated with phone and letters us to see and meet our friends when we have time. Due to the busy life, often we did not have any occasion to have directly communication with our friends or relatives who stay away for months or years. As a consequence our relationship suffered.

Nowadays, thank to the modern technologies we can contact with other people for work and daily activities through social websites and messages without get out. As a result, our social relationships are much better. For example, in my case, I and my closest friend stay in two different city far away from each other. By chatting on computer, we can know what she is thinking and how her life is going. In the past, this is impossible , as the result our friendship may be further.

In conclusion, I disagree with the statement in the question and believe that modern communications have greatly improved people's social lives.

septiadara29 48 / 67 9  
Oct 26, 2016   #2
Hello Huynh Anh! I will give you some opinions about your essay.

Firstly, you have to write your essay in 250 words, but you only have 196 words. So, keep writing :)

Introduction:
(1) Our social lives have changed since since electronic email and messaging have appear.
... changed since the electronic mail and messanger are already known
(2) However, in my opinion, it is not at all certaincorrect that our social lives are getting worse atas the result. In many ways, they are precisely getting better.

(certain means having no doubt or knowing exactly that something is true, or known to be true, correct, exact or effective)

Body 1:
(1) In the past, people used to communicatedwithby or via phone and sending us letters us to make an appointment to see and meet our friends when we have much time.

(2) Due to the busy life, often we often did not have (...) friends or relatives who stay away for months or years. --> (stay for a miles away)

(3) As a consequence our relationship suffered . have an impact
(Give the real example and the result for the reason)

Body 2: There are no paragraph connector, such as 'on the other hand' or 'however'
(4) Nowadays, thank to the modern technologies ...
On the other hand, there are some advantages from the emergence of technology, such as people enable to contact another easily by using social websites and people do not have to go out to call another by using public telephone

(5) I and my closest friendMy closest friend and I stay in two different citycities which seperate far away ...
(6) In the past, this iswas impossible , as the result our friendship may be furtherget better. (You have mentioned this sentence three times)

Conclusion: Poor conclusion. Try to paraphrase your idea :)


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