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Ielts writing task 2 : In modern society, people think primary schools should teach science


pcrazed9x 1 / -  
Mar 4, 2020   #1

science and technology at primary schools?



Question :In modern society, people think primary schools should teach science and technology rather than history and geography, which are useless and boring. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many people claim that primary schools should focus on teaching science and technology instead of history and geography. In my opinion, studying these subjects benefit students' future, meanwhile, history and geography help them embrace the past and the environment. Because of these reasons, I partly agree with the mentioned above statement.

On the one hand, studying science courses can hone and sharpen children's minds. For instance, primary school pupils learning mathematics tend to have more efficient logical thinking and decision making skills.Furthermore, acquiring knowledge about coding,computer hardware, or physics aids learners in achieving preferable future career prospects. It is commonly acknowledged that engineering graduates earn eighty thousand dollars on average while it is only forty thousand for non-technical graduates. In general, with the development of technology, acquiring necessary knowledge about it at an early age is definitely crucial.

On the other hand, history and geography still play an irreplaceable role in the education system. The main reason is studying history helps young individuals grasp the national history thoroughly. Primary school children in Vietnam learn about The American War during their classes, so they can understand the adversities which the previous generations had to face. Thus, they might take pride in their nationality. Besides, geography classes equip grade school kids with a deeper understanding about the environment. These classes enable them to learn how the surrounding world is created and how it operates. For example, youngsters can appreciate the importance of trees in preventing soil erosion. As a result, learning geography raises primary school students' awareness regarding environmental problems.

In conclusion, I am convinced that studying science and technology are essential for children to prepare themselves for the future world, but history and geography are still meaningful for understanding the past as well as the present situation.
Gaucho 8 / 15  
Mar 5, 2020   #2
Few gramatical and spelling mistakes

-... understanding OF the environment.
-... awareness OF environmental problems.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4773  
Mar 5, 2020   #3
You did not paraphrase the introduction paragraph enough. You are doing a direct cut and paste of " teaching science and technology instead of history and geography" You need to find more synonyms for the words teaching, science, technology, history, and geography. Use a thesaurus or a dictionary to find similar meaning words that you can use. Remember those words for your actual test time.

Your opening paragraph also does not respond to the prompt question. The question is: Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

What you did was present a comparative opinion of the discussion instead of simply saying "I agree / disagree with this statement for reasons that i believe are valid." There is no "partly agree". This is not an extent essay. You have to pick a side and discuss it. Since you did not pick a side and chose to discuss supporting information for both sides, your essay will be deemed unrelated to the provided task. Hence, you will get a tremendously low TA score. Do not use an extent response if you are not writing an extent essay.


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