Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 7

TOEFL essay "modern technology"


lyqinyi 3 / 6  
Oct 13, 2009   #1
Topic: Dose modern technology help students learn more information and learn it more quickly?

While the development of the modern technology, our lives have changed a lot. In the respect of study, some people believe the high developed technology has made the learning more quickly and people have the ability to achieve more information, while the other people disagree with this point. In my opinion, the modern technology does help students learn more information and learn it more quickly to some extent, but the disadvantages of the modern technology also can not be ignored.

In one part, the modern technology makes it more easily for students to obtain more information, and students can use the modern tools to understand the information more quickly. For example, I once took an internet course. The long distance classes on the internet made it possible that I could learn as much as I can in a single day, and whenever I met with a problem of the course I could stop by and search the internet for further explanation so that I could learn the course better. What's more, even if there is no classes on the internet, the information I can obtain through the internet is also rich. Therefore the modern technology can help us a lot on the way of learning.

In another part, the ill effects of the modern technology can not be disregarded. Since the technology makes it in reality that students can obtain unexhausted information, some useless or even inaccurate information is also received by students. As a result, students need to distinguish which is valuable while which is just of no use. Also, while the development of technology, the internet is filled with thousands of games that may draw the students' attention and make them spend much time on the games. In that case, it is not possible for students to achieve rich useful information or grasp the information fast.

In summary, I agree with the idea that student can learn more information and learn it more quickly with the help of modern technology to some extent. However, unless the technology can help the students to sift the information and the students can stop themselves from entertaining with the convenience that technology brings all over the time, the speed of learning can not be accelerated significantly.

mocixuan 4 / 10  
Oct 13, 2009   #2
Hi,

Here are some my ideas about your essays:

1.WhileWith the development of the modern technology
2.our liveslife (do not use plurals) have changed a lot

it's obviously that your first paragraph is a template, try to change it~~
thinhtvdhtm 41 / 97  
Oct 13, 2009   #3
While the development of the modern technology
In the respects of study, some people believe the high developed technology has made the learning more quickly and people have the ability to achieve more information, while the other people disagree with this point. In my opinion, the modern technology does help students learn more information and learn it more quickly to some extent, but the disadvantages of the modern technology also can not be

i think u should notice the way use "the"
OP lyqinyi 3 / 6  
Oct 17, 2009   #4
Thanks for your suggestions, I'll try to avoid these problems in other essays.
yin 12 / 38  
Oct 17, 2009   #5
Your topic is not clear. Therefore I dont know whether or not it requires us to talk abt advantages/disadvantages of new tech. towards ppl study. However, you are well done generally :)

Good luck :D
linhexi 9 / 28  
Oct 18, 2009   #6
However, unless the technology can help the students to sift the information and the students can stop themselves from entertaining with the convenience that technology brings all over the time, the speed of learning can not be accelerated significantly.
fuhuanluck 5 / 11  
Oct 19, 2009   #7
hi
feom my view , i dont know if it is a contrast essay or A&D essay, you d better check out your structure


Home / Writing Feedback / TOEFL essay "modern technology"