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Modern technology, such as chemical fertilizer is dangerous to human health and local communities


nasir1112 1 / 1  
Sep 16, 2014   #1
Deciding on whether chemical fertilizers are constructive or not is very tough issue. While there are a great many people agree to use of them, a considerable number of people are against. This essay will examine two both sides of this issue in more depth.

Taking the advantages into account, nowadays, we are encountered to the significant growing of the population. However, to provide grains and cereals adequate to them, there is no way to increase amount of our agricultural harvests. Hence, the most important factor to achieving our goal is to using chemical fertilizer. As a result, the more we use chemical substances, the more we can harvest our plants.

In terms of disadvantages, firstly, there is no doubt that many kind of fertilizers and also pesticides are so fatal to the human. In other words, we know that washing all effects of these substances from vegetables is impossible. Also a large number of them annihilate the nutritious elements of the food such as grains and cereal. Consequently, overusing of them will cause many disparate diseases in a human.

Secondly, over consuming of these materials will ruin our natural environment and resources and will assist to destroy the soil. Undoubtedly, I'm not alone on this opinion that the soil is source of many natural substances and beside them is a habitation for diverse species of animals and insects. Therefore, if we practice over range of these fertilizers, we will enlarge the deserts and unfortunately destroying many animals habitations.

To sum up, the cons of using fertilizers in modern farming seem to overweigh the pros. Undoubtedly, I disagree to apply too much of these materials and I believe that we have to discover new method of fertilizing. I hope in the future we can reach to this success
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Sep 16, 2014   #2
Nasir, there are a number of grammatical problems with your essay. However, that is not my main concern at the moment. For now, we should work on developing the content of your essay because, although you present good ideas, you lack information in your presentation that would have helped make this paper seem more academic and authoritative. So we should apply corrections to the body of the essay before we fix any other problems. I have noted my comments for you in green text. I hope my suggestions help you out :-)

Deciding on whether chemical fertilizers are constructive or not is very tough issue. While there are a great many people agree to use of them, a considerable number of people are against. This essay will examine two both sides of this issue in more depth.

- You could further improve this statement by including some simple exams that support the side that agrees and disagrees to use fertilizers. The reason you need to do this is because you introduction is too short and does give a thorough idea of the thesis statement for this essayand then presentingyour own point of view as a thesis statement at the end.

Taking the advantages into account, nowadays, we are encountered to the significant growing of the population. However, to provide grains and cereals adequate to them, there is no way to increase amount of our agricultural harvests. Hence, the most important factor to achieving our goal is to using chemical fertilizer. As a result, the more we use chemical substances, the more we can harvest our plants.

- This idea is not thoroughly developed and is confusing to read. You have actually presented2 issues that will support the use of fertilizers, the need to increase the amount of the harvest due to (2nd reason) an ever increasing population. So you have to discuss how using chemical fertilizers benefit people in these terms. Discuss things such as vitamin enhanced rice harvests, larger potato sizes (that can feed 2-3 persons instead of 1), and other similar harvest to population issues.

In terms of disadvantages, firstly, there is no doubt that many kind of fertilizers and also pesticides are so fatal to the human. In other words, we know that washing all effects of these substances from vegetables is impossible. Also a large number of them annihilate the nutritious elements of the food such as grains and cereal. Consequently, overusing of them will cause many disparate diseases in a human.

- Please develop this discussion from a health stand point. Do some research into the dangers of chemicals in fertilizers that, over long term ingestion, causes negative health issues for the people who consume them. Look into the methods by which the fertilizers contaminate the food and report on what the health discovered were. Just one or two examples will suffice.

Secondly, over consuming of these materials will ruin our natural environment and resources and will assist to destroy the soil. Undoubtedly, I'm not alone on this opinion that the soil is source of many natural substances and beside them is a habitation for diverse species of animals and insects. Therefore, if we practice over range of these fertilizers, we will enlarge the deserts and unfortunately destroying many animals habitations.

- Further improvement on this claim can be done by offering facts and figures relating to soil poisoning or habitat destruction of certain animals due to certain chemicals in fertilizers. Google search can help you with this.

To sum up, the cons of using fertilizers in modern farming seem to overweigh the pros. Undoubtedly, I disagree to apply too much of these materials and I believe that we have to discover new method of fertilizing. I hope in the future we can reach to this success

- Don't present additional ideas in your conclusion. Your idea for new methods of fertilizing should be developed as a separate paragraph. Your conclusion should only summarize the thesis and facts so that you can deliver a closing statement.
Adamtong 9 / 32 2  
Sep 16, 2014   #3
However, to provide grains and cereals adequate to them, there is no way but to increase amount of our agriculture. agriculturalharvests .
Hence, the most important factor to achieving step to achieve our goal is to using chemical fertilizer.
we know that washing all effects of these substances from vegetables is impossible. that the side effect of the chemicals is unavoidable.
Undoubtedly, I'm not alone on this opinion that the soil is source of many natural substances and beside them is a habitation for diverse species of animals and insects.habitat
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Sep 16, 2014   #4
Deciding on whether chemical fertilizers are constructive or not is very tough issue.

Many students use this type of sentences when constructing the introduction. I am afraid this will make readers lazy to read your essay.

I try to write an introductory statement for this question:

Modern technology, such as chemical fertilizer is dangerous to human health and local communities

Chemical fertilizer resulting from today's developments in science and technology are bound to pose benefits to the local community and human health. Although this is true because some people who rely on this could enhance productivity as to achieve a quick and easy profit, some others argue plants grown in this fertilizer are fairly susceptible to diseases organisms. Both ideas have merits and demerits. Therefore, I would argue that while controlling the increasing use of chemical fertilizer in farm lands, local government should also lead the farmers into the true belief that organic fertilizer is more productive.
NoumanAhmad 2 / 8  
Sep 16, 2014   #5
The first thing I would mention is that the beginning was very abrupt. You did not developed your point and just started straight off. The content quality was very low, maybe because you had not much information. One more thing is that you should focus on your organization of essay. You can also give some references to support your point. That would make your essay more clear and understandable.
OP nasir1112 1 / 1  
Sep 16, 2014   #6
thank you very much for your time and consideration.
I have decide to participate in Ielts exam after one month in general module, can you tell me what is my level now?
NoumanAhmad 2 / 8  
Sep 16, 2014   #7
The thing is that I have never taken any IELTS. Sorry. But on the basis of what I have heard from my friends about IELTS, I guess that your level will be medium.
tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Sep 16, 2014   #8
1. Pay attention to use personal pronoun.
2. I worry to use many connectors will be overusing.
3. Some inappropriate words can intrude the flow


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