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Modern technology can replace museums and art galleries agree or disagree?


Fly109238 4 / 3  
Aug 5, 2011   #1
hi, I am a esl student . Please help me revise this essay , and give me some advices . Thanks a lot

Modern technology has made it possible for people to view exhibitions an home so museums and art galleries will disappear soon . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today's society, modern technology is upgrading continually everyday, and the advanced electronics gradually replace many area of our real lives. Some people think it also can instead of museums and art galleries to view exhibitions at home. For my perspective, this buildings can not be replaced forever though modern technology is developed rapidly.

In my opinion, viewing exhibitions at home is not as well as enjoying the views in the museums. First, advanced technology can't provide the realistic feeling to audience. For example, 3D models,which is a kind of display technologies used in movies, also has differences from real views. Second, people is not able to enjoy the museum's atmosphere on the screen. This means that audience just is able to realize information about exhibitions,but people who go to the museum can get more excited because they are near the real products. Third, electrical screen effects people's physical health. In other words, electrical screen is bad for people's eyesight, and any electronics have radiations which can destroy the skin of people's body. Therefore, museums and art galleries can not disappear because it is not beneficial that viewing exhibitions on the televisions.

In addition ,museums and art galleries can not be disappeared because they are important for our culture and economy. First,museums can promote the development of tourism. Many tourists prefer to visit a museum to realize local culture as well as to enjoy artworks from masters. Consequently, this buildings can become essential scenic spots of tourism. Moreover,museums and art galleries are good places for protecting and storing precious artworks. For example, The Louvre Museum, which is the most important museum all over the world, has collected many famous paintings such as Mona Lisa. Therefore, museums are a suitable place to protect our culture. Finally, several museums have so long history that should be protected. This means museums are not only spots but also historical heritages. Therefore , museums and art galleries can not be replaced because they are invaluable to our culture and economy.

In conclusion, museum and art gallery plays an irreplaceable role in our lives. In spite of developing modern technology is convenient to daily life, museums would not be ignored .

hvthoteen 16 / 44 4  
Aug 5, 2011   #2
"replace many area" --> replace many areas

"also can instead of museums " instead is not a verb

"can not be replaced forever" it is not clear here

Moreover, you should include specific reasons for your disagreement in the introductory paragraph

"realistic feeling to audience" --> realistic feelings to audiences

"electrical screen effects people" --> electrical screen has detrimental effects on

"Therefore, museums and art galleries can not disappear because it is not beneficial that viewing exhibitions on the televisions." I think the use of therefore and because in one sentence is not very suitable

"can not be disappeared" --> cannot disappear

"In spite of " --> although

Good luck !


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