'Money Vs., Development' - my essay grammer, structure and overall quality

Money Vs., Development

Shall we burn all our money? Money is a commodity that we are accustom to deal with and in our society is seen as source of power and status, our society always praises those who are in with the latest trend and expensive fashion and alienates those who do not follow this trend. A cursory reading of Christopher McDougall's Born to Run will make us realize and understand why it is effective and advisable to run naturally and barefoot instead of running wearing a running shoe with a modern cushioned sole. In this reading we can see how McDougall argues that when money and sponsorships from big shoe companies entered into the world of running, the whole running world went into a downward spiral.

In McDougall reading, he starts by trying to find the emotional aspect of running and why a runner runs. He starts by pointing out that Vigils with years and years of research had reach the conclusion that all the answer to easy question were already solve and that each time he was learning less and less. Basically what he meant is that after years of data one can come up with equations and theories about running but that the real answer to becoming a fast runner was in the soul of running. That runners run because they like it and they enjoy it. That they are Natural Born Runners. In this same chapter he introduce the idea of why we are getting worse at running "It's hard to determine a single cause for any event in this complex world, of course, but forced to choose, the answer is best summed up as follows: $" (McDougall, 76). McDougall will support his claims through the use of anecdotes and appeal to logic. For example he remains readers of when they were kids that they all like to run and will be always running around that running was a natural thing. Also he uses logic to guide the reader into making a comparison of the runners of the 70's with those of today. He shows that back then, we were on top of the running competitions and that running was a popular activity and now he have fell to then last places of this same competitions, that we can barely qualify for some of them and that we can't find runner anymore like we use to.

He continuous with his statement that big companies have cause tremendous damage to the running scene in America. He argues that modern foot wear had cause our feet to become weak and therefore more prone to injuries. He bring up several points where doctors or people with sufficient knowledge of the running scene, choose to go the unconventional way and run without shoes as in the case of the Stanford University track team during their practices. He also points out a 1991 medical reports that states that people who wear expensive running shoes are more prone to injuries that those who wear basic running shoes. Another point that McDougall has it that the shoe industry are only concern with generating profit as we can see from this excerpt "Bowerman felt his original mission of making an honest shoe had been eroded by a new ideology, which he summed up in two words: "Make money."" (McDougall, 148). While is true that McDougall uses several types of techniques in his writing here we can see some of the most common. For example he using appeal to logic when stating that making the job easier for the feet makes the feet weaker, he also uses facts and statics when quoting the medical study conduct in 1991 and final he appeals to emotion when quoting that Nike new ideology is to "Make Money" he is trying to pursue the reader to see that this company only cares about profit.

Overall I do believe that the techniques uses by McDougall are effective in attracting the interest of the reader towards his thesis; also bring up different sources in order to support his point of view. McDougall works suggest the reader that we should go back to our roots and run, run barefoot. Also in view of foregoing studies and analysis, the reader can conclude that human achievement and performance has no relation to what one wears contrary to what big companies would like to impress upon the public. One should thus be mindful of the fact that business companies would always use several advertisements strategies in order to entice people and even make exaggerated representations of their products just to earn profit. People should not depend on such representation but should rely on their own abilities and strength. After all, men are all born to run.

( Starting with a question is a wonderful idea to grab attention of the reader. But the word "burn" is giving little bit "odd" feeling, in my view.

always praises those who are in with the latest trend and expensive fashion and alienates those who do not follow this trend. A cursory reading of Christopher McDougall's Born to Run will make us realize and understand why it is effective and advisable to run naturally and barefoot instead of running wearing a runningon shoes with a modern cushioned sole. In this reading we can see how McDougall arguesillustrates that whenhow money and sponsorships from big shoe companies entered into the world of running, and what was the cause and effect of such entry.the whole running world went into a downward spiral.

Your grammer is very good. Your critique is not well enough regarding the McDougall's writing. You need to catch the "Gist" of the write up and concentrate on that to put your opinion. better to avoid such discriptions, for example;

Basically what he meant is that after years of data one can come up with equations and theories about running but that the real answer to becoming a fast runner was in the soul of running. That runners run because they like it and they enjoy it. That they are Natural Born Runners.