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Money distribution from developed countries to those underdeveloped, does not stop poverty there


monicaaa0017 4 / 10 2  
Sep 18, 2021   #1

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty.


Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

You should write at least 254 words.


It is often argued that money distribution from developed countries to underdeveloped countries does not get rid of poverty problem of the countries. Instead, they should offer other types of aid to those poor countries. I completely disagree with this opinion and think that financial aid can solve poverty.

Firstly, I believe that financial aid can contribute to the quality of human resources and these people can contribute to the country's development such as in economics or politics. Scholarship or grant is one of a financial aid form given by developed countries. For example, UK's Chevening scholarship has been granting a number of Indonesians to study in the UK and they have been prepared to make a change in Indonesia that can support to eliminate poverty. That's why I think financial aid is beneficial.

Secondly, money is substantially important in every aspect of our lives. We need money to buy consumption for survival. And people who commonly do not have money is those who are not able to work or get a job. By giving them money, they can use the money to help them open small businesses and buy daily needs. For instance, there are a lot of Indonesians who are in line of poverty due to extreme lack of money. Also, they are jobless and mostly can not enter work fields due to lack of knowledge needed.

To conclude, financial aid is one of effective ways to eliminate poverty because money can help people gain knowledge and buy necessity needs for survival.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,753 3795  
Sep 19, 2021   #2
and think

If the writer completely disagrees with an opinion, then he must have the conviction to defend it. One cannot say "I think" because it negates the "complete" opinion. Rather a "strong belief" must be represented. Otherwise, the opinion presentation becomes confusing to the reader.

and

Do not use "and" as you are offering a connected reasoning explanation in the sentence. Indicate "because' as the connector instead due to 2 connected ideas being presented.

UK's Chevening scholarship

A scholarship is not financial aid as depicted in this essay. The focus here is economic aid for the country. The writer misunderstood the prompt topic and focus.

The writer has made a discussion topic error. A score will be provided. However, the mistake in the discussion representation may lower the score.


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