If the writer completely disagrees with an opinion, then he must have the conviction to defend it. One cannot say "I think" because it negates the "complete" opinion. Rather a "strong belief" must be represented. Otherwise, the opinion presentation becomes confusing to the reader.
Do not use "and" as you are offering a connected reasoning explanation in the sentence. Indicate "because' as the connector instead due to 2 connected ideas being presented.
UK's Chevening scholarship
A scholarship is not financial aid as depicted in this essay. The focus here is economic aid for the country. The writer misunderstood the prompt topic and focus.
The writer has made a discussion topic error. A score will be provided. However, the mistake in the discussion representation may lower the score.