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TOEFL-Is Money the most important aspect of a job?


basawang 10 / 76  
Sep 11, 2011   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important aspect of a job is the money a person earns. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In modern society, almost everyone needs to find a job in order to obtain economic supports. No doubt that salary is one crucial consideration for every job seeker. However, I disagree with the statement that money is the most important aspect of a job. Apart from incomes, workers can acquire more from their occupations. As I see, passion is another vital facet of a job. In fact, for many, these may be much more important than money.

People should consider an occupation that they are passionate with in order to avoid an insipid life. Assuming that the average working hours for most workers is eight hours per day, which means that, before retiring, these workers may spend one-third of their time on working, and if they get nothing except money during their entire careers, they must feel dissatisfied and disembodied because one-third of their lives is bland during this period. In contrast, if they have a strong interest for their jobs during their careers, their long working durations become meaningful to them. For example, many professors can attain a higher salary jobs compared to their current income outside a university, but they choose to work in a university because they enjoy studying and teaching. Jane Goodall, a famous primatologist, had spent 45 years on studying chimpanzees in Tanzanina. I believe she could find other jobs with higher salary if she want, but it seems like nothing be can substituted for her fondness of chimpanzees.

In addition to job satisfaction, passion for work can also lead to better performance, and then result in great success. Interestingly, although salary is not the initial target in this case, this process driven by passion usually makes a good fortune. Conventional wisdom says that only by working hard can human beings succeed. However, it is not easy for workers to maintain energetic for every minutes during the entire career unless they are really passionate with their jobs. The yearning for work is the most powerful driving force to compel people toward their goals. For instance, Steve Jobs, the former chief executive officer of Apple Company, is one of the most legendary entrepreneurs in the world. The secret of his success may be recondite, but obviously, his love for technology advances is the key component contributing to his accomplishment.

In a nutshell, although salary is one essential consideration for a job, passion is more crucial, which can bring not only personal fulfillment but also success to workers.

soshianet 16 / 47  
Sep 11, 2011   #2
For example, many professors can attain a higher salary jobs compared to their current income outside a university
she could find other jobs with higher salary if she wanted
but it seems like nothing be can substituted for her fondness of chimpanzees.
conventional wisdom says that only by working hard can (missing verb??) human beings succeed.
for every minutes during the entire career, unless they are really passionate with their jobs.
OP basawang 10 / 76  
Sep 11, 2011   #3
Thanks for your help.

I revise the following sentence:

It seems like nothing can be substituted for her fondness of chimpanzees.

And this is an inverted sentence. Nothing is missing.

Only by working hard can human beings succeed.

Best wishes,
jamliu0229 9 / 24  
Sep 12, 2011   #4
In fact, for many people,it may be much more important than money.

I believe she could find other jobs with higher salary if she want, but it seems like nothing can be substituted for her fondness of chimpanzees.
OP basawang 10 / 76  
Sep 12, 2011   #5
jamliu0229,

Thanks for your help.

I believe, in this case, the phrase "for many" is synonymous with "for many people".

Good luck
bahareh 18 / 50  
Sep 12, 2011   #6
Hi there is some suggestion;
I think it would be great if you can break down some of your senteces like this one....
Assuming that the average working hours for most workers is eight hours per day, which means one-third of their time,they must feel dissatisfied and disembodied if they get nothing except money during their entire careers.They may feel like their lives are bland during this period .

By the way, it is realy such a good essay that you've written.
Good luck
Bahareh
abc1400 17 / 32  
Sep 12, 2011   #7
interest for their jobs --> interest in their jobs

You perfectly choose different paraphrases for words.
fannie88 2 / 2  
Sep 15, 2011   #8
i think for toefl essay, your conclution is a litle short. i am preparing tefl too and will take the test on Sep. 18... good luck for both you and me!!!

your structure is quite good and clear.
Geenesh 21 / 29  
Sep 15, 2011   #9
People should consider an occupation that they are passionate ABOUT in order to avoid an insipid life.

Assuming that the average working hours for most workers is eight hours per day, which means that, before retiring, these workers may spend one-third of their time working,...

MORE SUGGESTIONS .. why dont try using more connectors? they can link your points more effectively and make ur essay better :)


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