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Why money are very important factor in today's world?

Jul 20, 2016   #1
Since prehistory, human being have been using something to exchange the things they have to get the things they want, for example, they exchanged meat with rice, or maybe they offered some services to get some food, actually these practices still happen until now. But now, we can use money with different value to get things we want.

The concept of money has been helping peoples in doing transaction. We don't have to bring such a big things to exchange it with our need, just bring a sheet of papers and we can get something, whether it goods or services. Now technology is getting better and faster, money has different shape or money has been upgraded. Now we can use credit card or internet banking to do some transaction, instantly and efficiently. So Money nowadays nominally has higher value but physically has a less value. Because money is a tool for economic transaction and human is an economic creature that is why money is very important factor in today's world, without money, it is hard for us to get what we need or we want. Peoples also struggles and compete to get money as much as they could, that is why money also considered as a root of problems in this world.

We cannot deny that we need money in our daily life need, we can use it as a tools and motivation to get a better live, but we also shouldn't put it at the first position in our life, because it can bring disasters in our life. As goes the saying : " dont ever underestimate the power of gold" which means , if we love money too much the bad thing will happen in our life.

sinahector 7 / 34  
Jul 20, 2016   #2
Very good writing but you need to concentrate more on s-v-o (subject-verb-object)
some tips:
exchange => trade
human being (single) => human being has (or human beings have...)
I am not sure but actually these practices still happening
different value => different values
peoples ??????
a sheet of papers
it goods or services => it is ....
or money has been upgraded => vague meaning
but physically has a less value => vague meaning
Peoples also struggles
it as a tools
if we love money too much , the bad thing will happen in our life.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Jul 20, 2016   #3
Hi Alvius, here's my take on your essay;

- Since prehistorypre historic times ,
- human beings have been using
- things they have, ( don't forget your punctuation marks ) to

- But nowNow ( avoid using "but" in the beginning of your sentences ) ,
- peoples in doing transaction.
- We don't have to bring such a big thingsanything
- to exchange it with ourwhat we need,

- So Money nowadays
- Because money isIt's a tool for
- struggles and compete to
- daily life need , we can use
- to get a better livebetter in life ,

- As goes the saying :goes; " don' t ever underestimate the power of gold"
- much the bad things will happen in our life.

There you have it Alvius, I hope the above remarks are helpful as well as useful to your revision. Should you need further assistance, do let us know and we will be here for you.
OP AlviusTinambunan 3 / 7  
Aug 2, 2016   #4
Thank you so much friend... I need more practice in order to make a good essay..
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Aug 2, 2016   #5
Hi Alvius, indeed, you need to practice more in order to create a good essay.
Now, it will not happen right away, but overtime, you you should be able to write better, if not the best essays! Make sure that when you write, though, you review the prompt first, understand it very well, because when you do understand the prompt, you will have better chances of coming up with a good essay.

Moreover, reviewing the English language rules before writing, makes it easier for you to get a better grip of your writing, this will also make up for the rules and regulations that you might have forgotten already. This practice is done in order to create that missing link in your essay and in the process of writing one.

Furthermore, avoid using the words that is mentioned above, such as "because", "such" or "but", this are not the ideal way to introduce your sentence to the essay, this can be used in highlighting your idea within the sentence but not to begin or start one.

There you it Alvius, I hope my insights are helpful and keep writing!

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