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IELTS: Money as a members of staff reward for their exceptional contribution to the company


WillNgo 1 / 1  
Jul 27, 2014   #1
Topic: Some employers reward members of staff for their exceptional contribution to the company by giving them extra money. This practice can act as an intensive for some but may also have a negative impact on others. To what extend is this style of management effective? Are there any better ways of encouraging employees to work hard?

Giving award is always the most effective way to motivate employees' working performance. Because of this reason, some employers decide to use money as a reward for their worker's special contribution. In my view, it is an amazing idea; however, it can also cause some negative influence on others. Besides, we can have more ways to encourage employees instead of money.

First of all, financial support may be very useful to the staffs that deserve it. In other words, this amount of extra money can be valuable things which helping them to improve their quality of life. For example, they can buy new car, new house or just a delicious meal in restaurant for their family. Although it can just be a small amount of money with the company, but it can play as a prime source of energy with them.

Nonetheless, everything has the other side. Despite the fact that money is able to bring many benefits, it also results in some unexpected impact. In fact, not many people can earn this extra reward. Therefore this way can lead to the comparison and jealous among colleagues. For instance, people may wonder why this guy earns that or why she gets more than them. As a consequence, this may create a stressful and doubtful working environment. Then, obviously it may takes a toll on workers' productivity.

In addition, there occur many better ways than just financial method. One of those is mental support; it is concerned to bring more positive effects the former. Hence, organizing a party to celebrate a best worker each month may not a bad suggestion. Bu doing this, employers not only makes that one feeling honor, but also set a motivation on the others and makes their relation closer.

In conclusion, money is truly a great way to push workers up, but it still has some bad result. So I supposed that mental support should be a fit choice for employers.

please give me feedback and advice
thanks a lot

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jul 28, 2014   #2
Giving awardRewarding in some form is always the most effective way to motivate employees' working performance.Because of this reason, some employers decide to usereward employees for their outstanding contributions with extra paymentsmoney as a reward for their worker's special contribution.

I like your introduction. It follows a good approach, contains good grammar and flow :)
OP WillNgo 1 / 1  
Jul 28, 2014   #3
tks u so much. But does it look good in structure and idea ???
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Jul 28, 2014   #4
But does it look good in structure and idea ?

Simply write two body paragraphs as to answer the tasks;
Body 1:

How much is this style of management effective?

Body 2:

Are there any better ways of encouraging employees to work hard?

If you look at the two tasks more closely, then you will see these key words: style of management effective and ways to work hard should be taken in account.

If you answer these tasks fully, then you will earn a good score for you meet certain criteria: Task responses. However, have look at these:

1.

improve their quality of life.

What do you mean by "quality of life" here? That sounds too vague.
2.

makes that one feeling honor, but also set a motivation on the others and makes their relation closer.

Are you sure this point is designed to be in conjunction with the task? Please check it.

For example,

For instance,

I always suggest others to present specific examples. This can be started by asking journalistic questions: how many? who? when? what? results? By this, you will have a lot of relevant details that support each topic sentence. Interesting, huh?


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