hello Abraham, let me try to give some recommendations on your passage.
By earning money, it leads to stress condition since all of the time
are only fulfilled is only fulfilled by focusing on it
in that case, i guess you need to use singular pattern
I reckon that people should be able to figure out what the priority of their life is, and carefully to make
step steps in their life
great conclusion with including your personal opinion, yet i'm sure u need more than 1 step.
thanks, hope it can helps.