Unanswered [29] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


Money plays a core role, however it doesn't always ensure the better life for human


Abraham22 20 / 11 15  
Nov 2, 2015   #1
Some people argue that is more important to have an enjoyable life than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Money plays a core role in human life. There seems a debatable issue about how to make life more enjoyable. While some people argue that money is not everything to reach pleasurable life, others argue that to earn money will bring to the great condition in the future. This is essay will discuss both points of view that it is true that earning money can make people bored feeling, although it has the good point such as to support future life.

With regard to enjoyable life, people believe that to get a better life, there are a wide range of ways that people can carry out. By earning money, it leads to stress condition since all of the time are only fulfilled by focusing on it. Taking example a white-coral in office, they have to spend their time 10 hours in a day from Sunday to Saturday in order that they do not have much time to conduct something pleasure. All in all, it is clear that having much money is a determinant of happiness.

However, to support future life earning money becomes an obligation for everyone. These days, forcing people to gain money is imperative as our necessary bothers us to have this. Taking primary needs to be obvious instance, in daily life, eating is the fundamental necessity needed to support human life. Yet, to obtain this, the people need money to purchase. If the people do not have a job. It is impossible to reach the great quality of life. Above all, everyone has a duty to get money due to the fact that it can determine the future life.

The aforementioned evidence that to enrich the better life, money is not the determination. Yet, it has the essential role to support human life. I reckon that people should be able to figure out what the priority of their life is, and carefully to make step in their life.
irfan727 49 / 68 29  
Nov 2, 2015   #2
hello Abraham, let me try to give some recommendations on your passage.

By earning money, it leads to stress condition since all of the time are only fulfilled is only fulfilled by focusing on it

in that case, i guess you need to use singular pattern

I reckon that people should be able to figure out what the priority of their life is, and carefully to make step steps in their life

great conclusion with including your personal opinion, yet i'm sure u need more than 1 step.

thanks, hope it can helps.


Home / Writing Feedback / Money plays a core role, however it doesn't always ensure the better life for human
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳