I wonder that you can write the prompt and purpose of the essay. It is addressed for IELTS, TOEFL or perhaps GRE.
First of all, some people have clear thoughts about life and morals, for this reason it is as clear as the water what money is mainly for. This kind of people, with principles and good behavior, look at money as a friend, as a necessity, and use it for good reasons such as education, health, in-future activities and emergencies.
I like your idea in such paragraph. However, it will probably better if you add
some examples to support your main idea.
, etc. is w
be careful in using punctuation.
On the other hand, there are some people, believe it or not, that think money is the only one most important thing in the whole world and they would do anything for it. Owing to these "human beings" such as murderers, smugglers, drug dealers, gunmen, etc. is why money is similar to devil. Nevertheless, let's think about this : When there is a murder, who is wanted? Money or a person/group of people?. We all know what the answer is, a specific person is the only one wanted for any crime, no money.
You do great idea again in this paragraph. This can be enriched, probably you can use
what if question such as what if the human basic can be fulfilled without money. Then, you can connect the importance of money with the criminalization.
Hopefully helpful :D