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More Money Should Be Spent On Adult Education Than on Children's Education.


trypheenee 1 / -  
Sep 14, 2021   #1

Children's vs grown ups Education funds



Prospering citizen's life is one of the most severe missions of every nation's government. In order to achieve it, education couldn't be a lack in the campaign. It is considered that the government should use more money on lessening illiteracy first. Nonetheless, the fact that a lot of public money is invested in innovation projects of course books, school facilities, and teaching methods for the purpose of encouraging young learners with their studying is more proper to my point of view.

It can not be denied that paying attention to educate students can benefit the economy. Since the global economy has grown by leaps and bounds in the 21st century, we need to prepare a higher qualified workforce, which is made of our young people, for the future labor market. According to the International Labour Organization, Vietnam is lacking high-skilled workers seriously, which makes the percentage of high-skilled jobs was lower compared to the global average. This means that offering more opportunities to renovate education among the young is the most advisable way to create more high-paid jobs in the country.

Besides, investing money in developing young learners' abilities is a good bargain comparing to the expenditure on teaching words for illiterate adults. As mentioned above, the young contribute a lot in enhancing the wealth of Vietnam by being a part of the high-skilled labor force. Therefore, public money spent on nowadays generation of Vietnamese students is a returnable budget. In contrast, it doesn't seem like the investment in adults will be very profitable, regrettably.

Furthermore, the young may assist their parents or other adults in learning to read and write by volunteering. History had proved that this idea is definitely possible. The "Battle illiteracy" campaign in Vietnam from 1945 to 1948 was so successful partly because of the positive attendance of the pupils who had been illiterate already. My grandmother, at that time, was taught how to read and write Vietnamese by my mother and my uncles. Moreover, learning the alphabet is not a really hard work, especially for adults that aware of its importance, so they can manage to learn it without support from the government.

To sum up briefly, as what Vietnamese people assumed, children are as the baby bamboos, when they're grown up, they are totally greener and stronger than the old ones, and we must take care of them more carefully for the good of the nation in future. Hence, the nation's finance should be used to encouraging learning among the young instead of wasting a large amount of money on adult education.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,584 3758  
Sep 15, 2021   #2
The topic begs the writer to consider the importance of education based on the age of the learner. The reason is because of government funding for both educational sectors. Such considerations are not present in the restatement. Additionally, the opinion response as required by the direct question is not provided in the proper paragraph placement either. What is present, is a direct discussion opening. which should not be written about till the second paragraph. The prompt replacement + personal opinion paragraph as required by the TA score is non-existent so this part of the writing test has failed.

can not

This should be written as one word. seperately, the meaning of the phrase does not make sense, as one word though, the meaning is correct.

According to the International Labour Organization

No.researched information. Always use general references to indicate public knowledge.

The essay is not on point when one considers the title of the essay and information consideration. Since the actual prompt was not provided ., I am not sure about how to redirect the response to better align with the discussion.


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