Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5

IELTS TASK 1; % of money spent on food, drinks & tobacco by people in Europe


Enid 2 / 5 1  
Jul 23, 2013   #1
The table summarises the percentage of money spent on three different items,by people in five European countries,in 2002.

Turkey spent the highest amount (32.14%)on food ,drinks and tobacco and this is more than twice as the amount spen by Sweden (15.77%).Ireland spent 28.91% whereas the expenditures were much less in Spain (18.8%) and Italy ( 16.36%)

In contrast to a lesser expenditure on food,drinks and tobacco,Spain paid a big amount for clothing (9%).All the other countries paid almost similar percentage on clothing and food,around 6%.

Thank you

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jul 23, 2013   #2
Hi,
Where is the graph? You can upload the graph using the feature "Attach file(s)" and it's good to have the graph to make our comments. Also, please post all your IELTS essays into Writing Feedback forum and have a meaningful topic for the Subject when you open a new thread.

amount spent by Sweden

This is the structrue I recommend;

Hope to see your graph!
OP Enid 2 / 5 1  
Jul 24, 2013   #3
The table summarises the percentage of money spent on three different items,by people in five European countries,in 2002.

Turkey spent the highest amount (32.14%)on food ,drinks and tobacco and this is more than twice as the amount spen by Sweden (15.77%).Ireland spent 28.91% whereas the expenditures were much less in Spain (18.8%) and Italy ( 16.36%)

In contrast to a lesser expenditure on food,drinks and tobacco,Spain paid a big amount for clothing (9%).All the other countries paid almost similar percentage on clothing and food,around 6%.

Turkey was the highest spending country on leisure and education too, and the figure was 4.35%.Italy and Sweden had very close percentages 3.20 and 3.22 respectively.Spain ( 1.98%) was the least spending country for liesure and education and was lesser than the half of Turkey's expenditure.

To sum up,out of five countries Turkey spent the highest amount on food,drinks and tobacco as well as on education and leisure.Italians spent mre money on clothing and foot ware.


Thank you
I could not attach the table.
MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Jul 25, 2013   #4
the percentage of money

I think the amount of money sounds better!

money spent on three different items,by people

money that people spent ...

this is

this was

amount spen

corresponding figure

The table summarises the percentage of money spent on three different items,by people in five European countries,in 2002

You should omit two commas in this sentence.
zoha 8 / 19 3  
Aug 6, 2013   #5
I would suggest to add variety to your vocabulary. For example, you have used " spent; country; education; leisure; amount" repeatedly. Good luck.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1; % of money spent on food, drinks & tobacco by people in Europe