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IELTS Essay - Money spent on parties is waste or for betterment.


sri_1 5 / 8 5  
Nov 25, 2013   #1
Q: Spending lot of time on holding wedding parties and other celebration is just a waste of money. Others, however think they are necessary for individual and society. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

ESSAY :

Party culture has become inevitable in this modern era. Throwing parties is considered as a great means for socializing. Be it birthday, wedding, or even job increment, everyone would ask, "So when is the party? ". These get-together is considered as medium to be more gregarious. However, a serious question is raised on the prodigal money spent on the parties.

Proponents of the ornate parties feels, hosting such celebration will get them introduced to many connections. More grander a party is, more people would participate. This would fetch them important contact, which might help them later in their individual betterment, such as, job finding, etc. Moreover, many people feels this party culture adds more colour to their lifetime events such as, wedding, birthday, etc. Thus, they are able to share their happiness with their friends and relatives.

However, the opponents of the party culture raise concern over the money spent over these momentous celebrations. This section of society feels that, the amount spent on these celebration can be diverted towards a greater cause. In fact, I have seen several people who cut-down their wedding cost and donate the saved amount to some educational institution. This gives them a sense of satisfaction and happiness.

In my opinion, parties are essential, at the same time, money consumed by these celebration must be frugal. Instead of staging a extravagant and pompous party, people can showcase their joy in a simple and elegant manner. Happiness is a state of mind. Hence, people should learn to discover their jubilation from a judicious celebration.

mingming 2 / 5 1  
Nov 25, 2013   #2
Awesome! It is a nice work with a wide range of vocabulary. There are only some small mistake that I can pick.
"More grander a party is" - "grander a party is"
"hosting such celebrations will"- "hosting such celebrations would"
"People who cut-down...and donate their money"-"people who cut down ... and donated their money"
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Nov 25, 2013   #3
Throwing parties is considered as a great means for socializing.

Partying is considered as a great way to socialize.... I think this provides a better hook statement for this essay and I like if you opened the essay with this sentence.

Be it birthday, wedding, or even job increment, everyone would ask, "So when is the party? ".

.... :D .... interesting :D
Be the purpose a birthday, wedding or even job increment, everybody would ask, "So, when is the party? "

These get-together is considered as medium to be more gregarious.

These is the plural form of This, so it should be read as;
These parites / This get-together ... there is no plural form for get-together
Also, I find this sentence redundant and that idea is said previously too. I don't think it serves any purpose for your introduction. :(


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